please please help!!!!
so tired of stressing over this.

I have a daughter (10) her father passed away (its just me supporting her)
my common law husband has 2 kids (12) & (12) their mother is in the picture and we share 50/50

2 years ago we all went on a family vacation, me dh and all kids.

this year the mother is taking the kids away in January- which is ok- she is the mother!

I want to go away in April- me, my daughter and dh (step kids wont come since they are getting a vacation with their mom and their step father)

my dh has issues with this, doesn't feel comfortable going away without his kids!!!!!!!!

when I had a chance (few times) to go away with my child and friends he said that's not fair and he doesn't feel comfortable taking separate vacations!!!!

then out of the blue he says maybe you should just take her with ur friends!!!!!!!!!!!!

I questioned him, asking if we had a baby together would u come with us or say the same?????
he saw my point and appoligized and said yes me, my kid and him will go away too!
he asked if we can go away in January!!! right off the bat I said NO- I have so many expenses in November and its right before Christmas- there is just no way I can do that. and why do I have to go around his ex wife's schedule? he just thinks its much easier if we all go at the same time so his kids wont be sad in the month that I want to go in (April)
now he is just not sure if he wants to go..... I need an answer, I told him are we a family or not? is this fair to my child???? do I tell her he doesn't want to come? plus I will feel safer if he is with us!
the way I look at it, all kids are getting a vacation! in a perfect world we would always take all kids, financially we can't- we just bought a house a year ago! I have always taken my child on vacations in the past and his kids use that against her saying she has been to way many places then they have so they should be entitled to more ( vacation with all of us was the first time they have ever been anywhere)

I hate stressing over this- what if my child was his, would his reaction still be the same? now if for some reason he does come i'm going to feel like crap thinking his mind is somewhere else!!! yes he is in a difficult situation- I know that- but will I and my child always be pushed to the side cause she is not his child..... we already do more fun things only when his kids are with us, when they are not with us their mom does things with them- mine is home! this is actually driving me nuts- we try to do even things and be fair- I just don't think this is working out.

please tell me what to do!