Well, I had a little melt down and cried a couple hours ago. Then I had a cape cod. FDH cuddled me and told me what he'd been thinking about. I feel much better.

He's going for some measure of custody no matter what. I have mixed feelings about this. Thankfully, he has a court docket somewhere to prove that he tried to get custody/visitation before, but apparently she moved to Texas before he could do much. This is the first time she and the kid have been back in our state in over a decade (since right after step son was born, actually).

Several people in his hometown are looking into the child abuse issue. If that comes up a zero, he's going to press for a paternity test so he can get visitation.

So . . . third step-son here I come. Sometimes I wish I'd had three to five kids by other men so he'd know what this feels like. I just feel so out of control and surrounded by evidence that FDH has had sex with other people. I know that's not fair to the kids, especially since the kids (SS5 and SS2) are such cool litte guys. If their mom didn't show up all the time I'd probably feel differently. I don't know. It's nuts to be mad at him for things he did before we even met, but I am. I just want to tell him: "I could have repopulated the Southwest too, you know!"

Ugh. Not fair and I'm totally panicking. I do NOT know how to handle a teenage step-son, though. I'm not old enough to have a teenager myself, let alone a teenager raised by some crazy religious fanatic.

I'm religious to some extent in my own way, but apparently the whole reason the mom refused to let FDH have anything to do with his son is because he refused to marry her when she got pregnant. Her church threatened to kick her out for being a sinner, so she cut FDH out, and everyone has been lying to the kid and telling him he's adopted. I have no idea how depriving a child of his father and lying to him works into christianity, but this poor kid is going to have serious serious problems. And I know we have to help if we can. I'm just . . . overwhelmed.