I have been dating a guy for 11 years, he has a teenage daughter who just turned 17 and we recently had a baby girl who is now 20 months. His daughter lived with her mother and was always taught to hate me by her mother.

Her mother has Ms and doesn't do anything with her her father has done everything her whole life and I have also been there for her despite her feelings for me.

Before I got pregnant I always knew she didn't like me we didn't spend any time together and she always made fun of me to friends and friends family. But even then I still did so much for her no matter how she treated me because I told myself she is a child she will grow out of it

This went in for many years

Then after 10 years I found out I was pregnant at first I was nervous because I knew it would be a hard transition trying to blend our family And her being an only (very spoiled) child She would be uncomfortable with the idea and she was but she came around while I was pregnant she would come around more I thought it was going well she would help me when I needed it she came over more often as well. It seemed like God was moving in and really helping us to grow closer

Once I had my daughter his daughter came once a week for a couple hours and that was it. I assumed she might be uncomfortable but I also assumed she was just keeping her friends away because the baby was so little.

Then her sweet 16 Planning came around which she took my daughters room theme and used it for her sweet 16 theme which again I thought was cute and didn't think much of it.

Before I got pregnant she didn't even want me at her sweet 16 but once I had my daughter her father told her I had to come I was family

She then said that she wants to give my daughter a candle but not me that I could escort her up but I would not be mentioned. His family said she was using my daughter to hurt me she doesn't even know her yet she was only 6 months and she would never come. So after a long discussion And a push from his sister her father told her if you do not want to include (me) then you would have to leave the baby out as well

We are a family you have known (me) for 11 years and the baby 6 months (no relationship)

She then sent me a text and said My dad said I couldn't give my sister a candle if I don't include you too. And I said I'm sorry but that was also my decision that is my daughter and I am not going to teach her or you to treat me like that I want to set an example to you for the future I am finally now asking for respect

She said she hated me and blamed me for her life and that I can't tell her what to do and if she wants to give her sister a candle then she is going to anyway so I said to my boyfriend maybe I should just not go

Long story short her father had a long discussion with her

And she came to me crying saying she's so sorry (which I did not believe) but I gave her the chance. She said that I deserve a candle with my daughter and she was going to give us one together

Well when the party came she did say thank you to me for nice things I have done very short but then she said a huge thing about my daughter calling her her best friend and that she would do anything to protect her etc and she said can her dad and I ESCORT her up to receive her candle

She lied to me and since it has been hard for me to trust her along with what I am about to say it's just all building up since then

She says things to me like my daughter is going to be a Tom boy (I am very girly)

My daughter is probably going to love the color yellow or blue

I dress her in pink

Etc.......

she still came to our house once a week then one day she said my sister gives you guys more attention than me (I get her feelings on that but she has also been the type to need everything about her always) and we said it's because she sees us everyday and that if she came to see her a little more it would be the same 

So two weeks passed then she came back and was acting really obviously obnoxiously crazy to my daughter didn't even acknowledge me but I was holding my daughter and she stuck her tongue at her in a loud playing way but almost aggressively to the point I was very very uncomfortable and I should have said something then but I was nervous and taken back and her father always takes her side and plus he is going to court with her mother I didn't want to make it worse.

It's a lot to type but I will copy and past a page from my diary after an argument last night there is so much more that has happened but atleast this will give you an idea

Please I want to enjoy my young daughter and not be stressed by this situation every single day

Here is a page from my diary I was very upset so forgive my rough words

Dear diary

Today SD and I got into a huge fight and then after it all she tells her dad I'm scared to hold my sister and so is my boyfriend

Ok that's hilarious

I encouraged SD to always come by and always help when DD was born SD only came by once a week for an hour or two snapped some pictures and then that was it

In the beginning DD wanted nothing to do with SD she didn't know her

So the next time she came she was really loud very loud I played this game with DD where I would turn a corner and play peek a boo she loved it I always did it it was a nice little thing

Well the next time SD came over she did it overdramatized like crazy loud stuck her tongue out like a mad person at DD was overly loud and anything I did with DD she did 10 times more and overly crazy loud to the point it made me sick to my stomach but I didn't say anything I was scared to DH is going through court with her mom and anything we say that angers SD she threatens to go to her moms Or she runs off to her friends

Then one day I was chasing DD just a silly thing trying to include SD as well so she didn't feel left out and when her dad comes out of the bathroom she goes look dad what I taught SD

I was appalled and sick to my stomach once again I should have said something

After that anything I would do she would copy me and do 10 times more and louder so loud it would drowned me out and DD wouldn't even look at me only her

She would then disappear for a whole week and come back once a week and repeat the same behavior

And if a friend came over she would do the same thing 10 times louder than I ever could and anything I would do she would do it over me then she would get her friends involved who knows what she even lied and told them

They would come over and say look she is obsessed with Her or she loves (SD) more than anything (I know she talks to them and I know they are saying it intentionally as well) or SD would say look how I taught her this  or look at the game we play together (that I taught her)  right in front of me completely erasing me from anything I did with my kid and meanwhile while she comes over once a week

If I was holding my kid she would come over crazy loud in my face make DD cry for her then take her and if I didn't make her available whenever DD decides she was free DH would yell at me and curse me out

So every time SD would come by I would be scared to death to play with DD or if SD reaches for her I would just hand her over and walk away or the whole day SD would have to push the stroller or now feed MY daughter meanwhile this was her 2 hour pit stop to show face but I had to stop my motherly duties whenever SD came by

The only break I would get was when I would breastfeed and even then I'm as so nervous I would hurry up and finish breastfeeding just so I wouldn't pee anyone off or cause a fight and still it was always something

Worse part is I never knew when this was going to happen but whenever it did we were at her beck and call

It still happens now but I have toughened up

I'm not going to be scared to hold my own child or put her down for a nap at her nap time or sit down and play a game with her cause her sister has to show face be real real loud and crazy then disappear and at DD first birthday SD held her while I opened by daughters presents?! (Spitefully) she hadn’t seen her in two weeks It's my first and only child I should be able to hold my daughter

But again she has to look good to her boyfriend and I still believe she does it to hurt me this is ruining my life there is so much more

And she turns to her dad and says daddy I'm scared to hold my sister cause (I) gets mad

No I don't get mad that u would have a relationship with your sister I am hurt because I know your games and no matter what I say or try to do they will never change so I guess this is my punishment

I am an amazing mom in what seems like a hopeless situation and it’s taking its toll on me 

SD and I will never grow and she will never change she is way to good at playing games and DH will never ever hold her accountable so I will always come out of this looking wrong and I can't stay aim this situation anymore because I emotionally can't handle it

Atleast if we are separated I will know what days I will have my daughter with no supeises and no competition and no one yelling at me if I don't jump and have my daughter dressed and available unto the queen who my 1 and a half year old has to make time for when she is "available" at the end of the day I truly believe SD doesn't care that she only does things to look good it would take a lot for me to trust her as of now I do not and more than that I am scared everyday wondering when she is around if I will be allowed to play with my first child or what about when she is learning stuff I read about schedules for babies that they are important I can't even do that without getting cursed out by My (DH) 

On a separate not anything I like she copies which would be cute but she copies it and pretends it is who she is and then completely expects me not to like it it’s like single white female or something someone please tell me what is going on here? I need any advice I can get