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toxic in-laws

taffy_miller@hotmail.com's picture

Well, if any of you read my previous post, you might remember that we were having issues with SS defying us based on the advice of his friends and cousin. SS has just turned 16 but is about at the maturity level of a 13 year old kid. We cut off contact from some people who were training him to defy us, one girl was in college!!! Blocked their ability to call or text. This includes his cousin, who lives 2 doors down and gets into a lot of trouble. (Pot-smoking, driving without a license) So, now my in-laws (next door) have discovered that we have blocked the cousin and they are angry!! They maintain that the cousin is a sweet young boy who is a little angel and is just sad because his mom's gone and his SM is an asshole. (They always target us in-laws who aren't blood relatives) So, FIL tries sneaking SS out of here 2 days ago. Came down, knocked softly and whispered to SS. SS told him he had to ask to leave, and FIL sat outside, making loud sarcastic comments about our rules and discipline. He won't come in, he claims it's too dirty for him in here and I'm a rotten housekeeper. Of course this happens when SO is at work. For the record, SO and I made rules for SS together, but in-laws claim that it's all me, I'm a bitch, and I'm trying to make the kid's life hell. This has been going on for 10 years, off and on. Last evening, MIL, FIL and cousin got together and texted SS from MIL's phone to come to their house. We asked SS to tell them to call and arrange adult-to-adult, so we knew for sure that the cousin wasn't orchestrating it with MIL's cell phone. They told him he doesn't have to follow our rules, and to just go to their house whether we allow it or not. We took him and went for a ride. They were all sitting next door in the yard, on their porch swing that overlooks our house, watching us leave. MIL and cousin gave sarcastic waves and smiles, FIL just looked angry. We explained to SS that we'll unblock his cousin from texting (per SO), but he is not to be making plans based on cousin's wishes, and if we find out otherwise, he will be blocked again. SS was doing so good for awhile, when in-laws were focused on another of the cousins, now since SS went with FIL 2 days ago, he's back to his old behaviors, and angry at us. He feels we're being unfair and he should be able to roam freely, as explained by FIL to him. This is all about FIL's refusal to accept me, he wants everyone to think I'm a rotten person. He's never even gotten to know me. And I resent the fact that they are undoing everything that we've done to fix SS's behavior. I can't believe that hating me is more important to them than loving SS and helping him develop into a good person. And I guess that last sentence sums this all up. Now, if only I can figure out the Captcha phrase before the 10th time I try...