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summer break....

tnic779's picture

My SD has mention SEVERAL times she is staying we me for the summer. I'm almost at the flipping my lid stage. I have talked to DH asked him why she has been saying this etc. he said he'd talk to her. Yes I am a stay at home mom for my BS. DH and BM both work BUT I AM NOT A FREAKING DAY CARE!! I can't do it, I know I can't on the weekends by Sunday I am stressed beyond belief, they are rude, mean, don't flush toilets, SD steals from me and my BS. She steals little things but that's where BIG things start! If I give my son attention SD has a reason to need me. Last year during a weekend I heard my name 500 times in one afternoon! BS and SD fight like crazy after 2 hours! the extra money I will have to put out for food, appropriate clothes, and everyday care of another child, and DH is still going to pay BM CS bc they have 2 other children. I go to the beach and I have a pool, which I am not comfortable taking SD, she cannot swim but insists she can, BM buys her skimpy bikinis at 9, and God forbid something bad would happen BM would sue me for everything I own! Why do men think a SM is a free childcare for them and the BM?? any advice to get across my point to DH before he asks me to keep her and it ends up in divorce??

ohfreakingwell's picture

From my experience, be clear and consistent with your message that you are NOT there as a babysitter. It is hard to say but its the only way to go.

ncgal1980's picture

I'd definitely put my foot down if I were you. Make it abundantly clear that you are NOT a dumping ground for kids! Just because you're at home does NOT automatically make you responsible for your SD.

Put your foot down NOW, because if you don't, this will just continue beyond the summer! Then after a while, putting your foot down won't be an option anymore because "Well, you've always done it, sooo..."

I'm so glad I work the same hours every day as DH. I will never be expected to do this and never WOULD do it. If my skids were halfway decent and would listen to me, that might be another story. MIGHT.

But yeah, you'd better step up and say something NOW, or they're going to walk all over you.

Disneyfan's picture

Is your son your husband's child? If not, your idea may not fly with him. If he's working and helping to financially support your son, he may be offended that you won't watch his daughter.

tnic779's picture

No my son is not DHs but he doesn't help financially with his care and I pay more than half of the bills BC he's broke after paying CS. I tried bringing this up again last night BC since all this has been going on I can't even sleep at night! DH seems to think that being a SM means stepping in for BM! NO! That everything I do with my BS I should do with skids I told him he needed a shrink! needless to say worse now that yesterday

tabby yabba do's picture

Be thankful you're getting the heads-up as to what it seems others have "planned" for your upcoming summer (BM? SD? Or maybe even your DH?). NCgal is right! Fight the battle now.

Dizzy's picture

I'm a SAHM and I do care for my SD10 if my DH is working. We have 50/50 with BM. I flat out REFUSE, however, to care for SD during BM's time. Any chance of a similar compromise with your DH?

tnic779's picture

Dh has skids every other wknd BUT for the past 7 wknds we've had them. He thinks bc im home I should benhappy to have them...no im not. I'm in a relationship with him not BM. BM called last night at 730 bc sd foesnt have school today and she "has no where to take her" shes known for how long her spring break starts today? Its like he is freaking afraid of BM!!! Im not a freaking babysitting service!! Dh faught with me BC "you should help out" WTF??????