Sharing everything. I want to give up
We have lived together for 8 months. I have SS SD and BS BD full time in our home,plus a baby on the way. Everything feels like it is going downhill and I want to give up. My Bf is a wonderful man but I wonder if my love for him is enough to continue attempting to make this family work. Skids are very difficult and I resent them. I miss the peace and quiet of my old life. I miss being able to give my bio kids all of me as a mother. Skids are so demanding. My BD is not happy, does not like skids and says she wants to move out and I feel so guilty that she is not happy. Alot of the time I am not happy because of skids. That makes me feel guilty as well.
My Bf thinks that I treat his kids unfairly and thinks that I should make my kids share all of their things with his kids. It sounds so petty, but this sharing thing is causing so many problems. My bkids are sharing all of my attention and affection with these skids.These Skids will come to me for everything even when their dad is home. My bio kids do not look for affection and attention from my bf. My skids act as if I am their bm and my kids are forced to share me. Maybe it is out of guilt, but I feel that my bio kids should be able to play with their toys by themselves if they don't want the skids to play with them. I understand that kids should share, I'm not stupid, but if my Bd doesn't want her SS to wear her things, or use her roller skates as soon as she takes them off , is it wrong that I don't make her share these things.
Am I wrong.I feel guilty making my kids give them their things.
Well, I can really see your
Well, I can really see your point. As an only child, i didn't want to share. BUT you have multiple kids living together, I'm not sure how you can get around it unless everyone has their own of whatever it is.
If the skids are breaking things or not taking care of them, that is one thing. But if they are using these items and being respectful, then you should make them share.
No, IMO, you shouldnt MAKE
No, IMO, you shouldnt MAKE the kids share-for the most part. We have 4 kids in our house-ss doesnt live here anymore but he did from ages 1-9. I never MADE the kids share-I would caution them to remember though if they did not share with so and so-then when they want to play with so and so's toys later be prepared to hear the word no. I did not make them share clothes. Everyone had enough clothes of their own there was no reason to share. I also did not allow "trades". They were always wanting to trade each other toys and such then one would regret it later so I did not allow bargains like that.
You should teach the kids the benefits of sharing-but if you FORCE kids to share it sort of removes the thought behind it and it is pointless IMO. I also always encouraged the kids to have a few special items that were never up for sharing. This gives them a sense of ownership and responsibility and makes it easier to share other items, IMO.
Sounds like my life a bit.
Sounds like my life a bit. SS didn't have much when he moved in. BS had to share almost everything. But actually, I tried not to 'make' him share but 'highly encouraged' him to share because sharing is the right thing to do. But I didn't force him. He should be allowed to have his own stuff and not have to share.