You are here

Can't understand why I feel this way.....

Xplosive10's picture

GF is a good person overall just a tad bit lazy and skid is also well behaved and for the most part a good kid, just a bit too whiney and pampered IMO. Skid's BD is still around a few times a week and even pays a small amount for child support. I just can't seem to develop feelings for skid. Obviously it's affecting my relationship at home but most of the time I don't want to be involved with anything that skid is part of. I feel extremely detached and can't seem to understand why. I will admit that it wasn't always this way, there was a time when I felt good about our situation and wanted very much to play a role in raising skid. I was just never given that "authority" type of figure in our house therefore that caused arguments which eventually led to my detachment. Now that I have accepted not being a "figure" for skid and letting bio-parents do everything I find myself with these feelings of resentment towards bio-mom, dad and I guess now even skid. Makes me feel like I am being selfish as well since I now tend to put dollar figures to everything that I contribute to that gets shared with skid. Leaving is always an option but I do care for GF very much. It has occurred to me that I may not understand their relationship since I have no kids of my own. I am contempt with not having a say-so with skid, or am I? Maybe I'm just not suited to be around any skid's and rather need someone with no kids whom I can start my own family with one day.

scorpio's picture

These are very normal feelings, especially if GF is not letting you get involved. How else are you suppose to feel but detached? It seems like she involves you only when it's convenient for her (as you mentioned money).

You need to discuss this with her if you want your relationship to work. If you don't you will resent her so much that you are going to start hating her.

Meqa's picture

I definitely understand those feelings exactly!!!! My partner has a daughter and I now actively organise other activities which take me away for the entire duration of her visits with him if at all possible because I feel so detached, frustrated and annoyed that my (and our as a couple) weekend is ruled by this child who in his mind is perfect and to me needs a lot of 'parenting'. I too feel like although I love my partner, his dughter is always going to be a part of his life and as such, perhaps it is time for me to leave. I will be sad of course, and hurt and the process of splitting up when you live with someone is tough, but, I want my own children one day and I can' imagine having this going on on the sie...all that will happen is I will feel further resentment that she is taking up our money, time and his emotional resources and that our child/children has to 'suffer' because of it. I will always love my children and he will always love both. I can only see hurt, frustration and sadness....or....somehow I have to fundamentally change the wy I feel about this...I don't think I can. But it's causeing issues in our relationship and I fear it is only a matter of a very short time before we slipt up so that we can both find happiness. He probably needs to find someone with teir own children already too.

Good luck.