SD11's mini wife syndrome
Recently I've noticed my SD and her clingyness and after a few problems last night and a post on facebook I've come to realize I believe she has "mini-wife syndrome". Me and my DH moved in together shortly after our relationship began and I understand at first she was upset about it. Me and her had a private discussion in which I reassured her I would never take her daddy away from her. Things since then have for the most part been awesome. Until recently. I always noticed how when shes home (he has 50% custody so shes home half the week and every other weekend) she follows him EVERYWHERE. He'll go outside to smoke and she follows. He goes to the bathroom and shes wondering where he went. Fine. I've dealt with that and figured its her age and because shes not always with him. I've tried my best to deal with how shes feeling and not upset her. This weekend she decided to have a sleepover at her friends on Friday instead of coming home and my BS was at his fathers so we took advantage and went on a date. DH picked SD up on Sat. morning and when she heard we went to a certian restaurant she got jealous and was like aw I wanted to go which his response was I'll take you soon honey. Me and DH sat down for a few minutes because we had been running errands all morning and he asked me to rub hit feet so he lay on the couch and I sat and rubbed his feet. She laid on top of him. So when I was done rubbing I got up and moved and he was like where are you going and I said here where I have room to sit. We all went to lunch and then later on ordered a movie together. At lunch they were doing silly videos just them and I just hung out. Later in the day he did the same with me and text it to me. Next thing you know shes off in her room sulking. She said she was just wanting to read. Well while I was out yesterday morning she told DH that she felt left out and that we didn't want her there. I feel like if he gives me an ounce of attention she gets upset. So when he told me that it kind of upset me because I try hard to make her feel loved and involved with the family. So for the rest of the day I didn't want to get in the way so I just kept my distance from DH and was rather quiet. I know this probably wasn't the best way to deal with it but I didn't know what to do. Later he asked me what my deal was and I told him I couldn't discuss this with her there so when she left we talked. Basically he just took up for her and said I was being childish and shes just a child. I told him he needed to realize my feelings too and that it made me feel like she wants me out and I'm the one who is on the outside and moving me and my BS in with them. He just wouldn't listen. He just keeps saying she just wants daddy and I need to behave normally and she will get over it. It just all got to me yesterday. I won't let her make me feel like that again and I will just behave my normal self and be chatting with my DH and affectionate and sit with him but my question is....does this get any better? Any helpful hints on how to help make this easier? Its been just me and my BS since birth and now I'm trying to find the best way to blend our family and I've never does this before. I understand it won't always be easy. I really don't want this to come between me and DH. I love him and our family very much.