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That little Twerp Did What??

n2thefire's picture

Okay, I'm almost at my wits end here. Background - I am a mom of 4 and 7 year old boys. My 7 year old has Aspergers (mild autism). I have the boys most of the time and their dad has them every other weekend. I've been with my partner almost 2 years, and she has an 8 (ALMOST 9) year old son with her ex that she shares half the time. Right now, it is long distance and we see each other every month, usually for about a week.

The problem is her son. He is so overwhelmingly jealous and quite a bully. He does everything he can to one-up my son, calls him names, puts him down. But that's not the bad part. It's how he acts when I'm around his mom. He constantly interrupts our conversations, pushes for attention, creates drama and issues out of nothing, whines, and pouts. Even my partner has said that it's abnormal behavior, but does NOTHING about it.

But what happened yesterday just threw me. We were out shopping and I was holding my partner's hand, and he pushed between us and started hanging off his mom. I just kinda laughed it off, but thought to myself "what a pain in the ass." When we got home, he was outside playing with my kids while we sat on the couch reading. He came inside, threw himself on his mom, and when he realized that my arm was on her, SHOVED me to the side, nearly knocking me off the couch.. when I said something, he looked at me and smiled (at an angle his mom couldn't see) and said "oooooh.. it was an accident." I was FURIOUS. It's one thing for him to verbally be rude and interrupt, but to use physical behavior to come between.. at his age seems very inappropriate.

Am I nuts?? I'm just about at my wits end. This kid is smart.. very smart. And he's as manipulative as hell. He rarely gets disciplined, and when he does, acts like such a martyr that both his moms end up groveling to him apologizing for disciplining him. It's almost to the point I'm considering just calling it a day. We are supposed to be moving to the same town together soon, but I'm starting to see how he acts towards me and my kids and wonder if it could even work. I can't stand to be in the same room as he is anymore.. he whines and acts like such a baby in this high pitched voice he reminds me of Calliou. Ugh.

Thoughts?

Lalena75's picture

Maybe not a lot of help but my SO pointed out my own son doing similar. My ds isn't an ass about it but like my SO will hug me when I get home and my ds will come up and hug us saying "group hug" and it annoys SO. Or he'll interupt us talking or cuddling. We've lived together 2 years now and his behavior has increased from me being all eh about it to noticing SO is seeing it as ds challenging him as man in my life. So I've been addressing it telling ds that when SO is hugging me or greeting me it is horribly wrong and inappropriate to interupt or physically insert himself he'll get his attention after SO. But I do plan to talk to ds about why it's gotten worse and more frequent. His mom has to address it or it won't change.