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Blended family finances

bzmum's picture

Hello everyone,

I am new here. I will try to be brief on the background...we are a blended family. 8 kids. I have 6, he has two younger kids (7 and 4 The 4 year old has a form of autism). We both work part time. I make more than he does and I get CS and SS from my previous relationship. My new partner's income is significantly lower. His ex pays $80 a week for their 2 children for CS.

I had suggested a 70-30 split on all household bills and that we each take care of the needs of our own children such as clothes, school needs etc..(that means me paying more of the bills). He originally agreed but then when weeks without paying and he's about 9 weeks behind in contributing to the bills (I paid them but he still owes for them). He doesn't think this 70-30 is fair anymore. He thinks I should be paying for all the bills because he helps out at home. I do the grocery shopping and meal prep, I do my own laundry and my kids' laundry. He cleans the house, he does his kids laundry.

Another problem comes with child care. He works in the evenings when I am home. He has arranged for a sitter to come in to look after his kids when he is at work two evenings a week. His ex does not contribute to the babysitting cost and my partner is looking for me to pay for his sitter. I pay for all my child care needs when I am working. In fact, if my partner babysits my children, I pay him for his time.

We have our own bank accounts and credit cards.

What are other families doing to manage the household expenses in these uneven situations? I thought I was being fair but there is so much resentment and animosity building up it's almost becoming toxic.

Rags's picture

Sorry, this guy is a mooch and he needs to either step up, be a man and support the household or GTFO!

When my bride and decided to marry we set up joint accounts for everything. Banking, mortgage, utilities, credit cards (we each have one of our own so that we maintain established credit as individuals), investments, etc... We agreed to be partenrs and that is what we are.

Our situation is far less complicated than yours. I have no BKs. My SS-21 is an only child in our home. My DW is the CP and received a pittance in CS for the ~17 years of the CO. We had nothing when we married except for my condo, my vehicle and two apparents full of college furniture. I was the only full time income from the begning. All of my income went in to the joint coffers and to support the household. When my DW got a job her money went to the same place and as sh/wee completed our educations and certifications increasing income continues to go in the joint accounts.

From what you shared your SO is far from a partner. He is taking extreme advantage of you. Time to give him clarity or rekey the locks.

IMHO of course.