Am I Overeacting? Is my life perfect or am I being used?
I have been in a serious relationship with my SO for 3 years. Living together for the past 2 years. She has a 7 year old and she has been dialing up my step parent responsibilities little by little. At first it was nice having the little guy around but then I felt my independence being chipped away at little by little. I love both my SS and my SO. However, recently she received a very prestigious job and we moved together across the country with her son. She works long hours and thus I have been doing a lot of the parenting. I am currently not working, she has been supporting me financially which I am grateful for since I haven't landed a job yet. We live in a beatiful home and live a great life otherwise. But I am feeling limited as to what I can do with my life right now seeing as I am taking care of her son more or less full time when he is not at school. She is increasingly trying to get me to take him to various classes and activities. I am lonely having left my friends, career, and family behind. I feel trapped yet conflicted as I love where we live now but can't stomach being a full time stepdad as I can't focus on building a new life for myself. I am ashamed that I don't want to step up in that regard but I do feel taken advantage of (I am sure she does as well since she has been paying all the bills). But our relationship feels very transactional and if she doesn't get her way there is hell to pay and she wears me down until I relent and do more of the parenting. I am proud of her for her accomplishments and success but I do not see it fair to take on the brunt of the burden of raising her son even though she constantly reframes it as "our son" and "you signed up for this." We have been here for 2 months now and haven't had a date night or true time to ourselves. I am a stay at home step dad that feels limited by the jobs I can take on because of the demands of my partner's career. Am I overreacting? If he was my son I feel I wouldn't be complaining about my situation but he is not. I do not feel like a man if I can't support myself or contribute to my family financially. I have been doing a great job with keeping up with chores around the house and helping him with his homework... He really is a magical kid and I want to be involved I just feel like it has been all work and no play and now I feel trapped and or used. I see her as my soulmate but I do not know if me being responsible for dropping him off/picking him up from school, feeding him helping him every day etc is really my Responsibility? I feel more like a Manny than an equal partner. She says things will change once I get a job but I can see her as trying to manipulate me once I do get a job to still be super step dad and her limiting her responsibilities. Should I shut up and just be super step dad and do my best to get a job that fulfills me and see how our arrangements will be? or do I end things and pursue my passions without worry of a family until I can handle my own stuff? There is a lot to unpack here. I am used to being the bread winner and the successful / driven one and I feel less like that everyday.