Is it possible to repair?
I found this website after searching on the internet tonight and felt I needed to vent with a community that would understand.
I am the step father, I have raised my step daughter since she was two with her bio mom, she is now twelve. My wife and her bio dad have never really gotten along. I have heard stories from my wife about how bad of a person he was and still is. I was even involved in a serious court matter about the step daughter that resulted in me having to pay thousands of dolllars for lawyers and child advocates for my step daugther when she was younger.
The past six months have been progressivley gotten worse. My stepdaughter has been mean to her younger half siblings, she has been back taking and yelling at her mother, she has told me I need to do more around the house, she complains about having to do household chors, even though we pay them for their efforts. Its like nothing we do here pleases her. Her bio mom and I have been raising her as parents and her bio dad raises her as a friend. He lets her stay up as late as she wants, she can play on her phone and do whatever she wants because he has no rules. On the other had my wife and I have been saving money for a car for her, we pay for her cell phone, we even gave her a debit card to make sure she has money whe she is at school or her dads house to buy food or drinks.
Even with that, she has admmited she likes living at her dads house more because they have fun all the time and we have more structure. Today she had an overnight with her father. He was to take her to school today but didn't, and never called the school to report it. She had baseball practice tonight and skipped it. (bio dad has let her skip soccer practice in the past) My stepdaughter covered for him and said her leg was in extreme pain and could not walk, that is why she didn't go to school or practice. We told her we would come get her and take her to the doctor and she and her bio dad refused. She started tell lies about us while on the phone and it really hurt my wife and I. Its like she is purposoly trying to sabatago our relationship or always trying to impress her bio dads side.
I told my wife tonight I have spent 10 years dealing with this drama and I can't do it for another 10 years. Something has to change, if she wants to live with them let her go. When my wife and I are with our two other kids the family is happy, very rarley are they arguments. Its as soon as the stepdaughter comes back all hell breaks lose.
Any advice? I am at my wits end with this child and just have nothing else left to give to help her. My wife is upset with me and said she will always pick her daughter so I am afraid we are heading down a bad path.