my stepdaughter is 12 yrs old. I’ve been in her and her mom’s life since she was 5. Her mom and I are married almost 4 years now her bio dad is a drug addict and has been essentially completely absent from her life for quite a long time He calls occasionally but that’s about it She expresses she has no desire to see him and has a lot of and her toward him.....very understandably so
over the past 1-1.5 years, my daughter has become increasingly rude to me. My wife has recently started doing a better job of calling her on it and telling her it’s not acceptable. For a long time my wife acted as though my stepdaughter and I were siblings that she was refereeing between rather then stepdad/stepdaughter, adult/child. The other day I asked my stepdaughter to take some dishes out of living room to kitchen. She didn’t do it and was very rude. I told her she didn’t have a choice. She said she doesn’t have to listen to me because I’m not even related to her. This was extremely hurtful to me. My wife soetbof understood but thought I was being too sensitive about it. I’m trying to figure out a way to better handle this situation and more effectively deal with the episodes of rudeness. Any advice would be much appreciated.