I feel like the split family BM has always wanted
So we have had a ton of issues with an extremely HCBM. She tells my SK that me and my kids are my husband's "other family" she has divided us like that since day one which has cause tons of issues. She fights about extra curriculars so DH is preoccupied with their kids all weekend so we can't have time together as a family. She tells them that my kids and I are not their family. It's been nothing but a struggle to try and build a family with these kids with their mother always in their ear. They just puppet whatever she said like "sports are the most important thing to them" Which we know is not true but they know that they need to please mommy dearest. So, lately I have been more focused on just being with my own kids instead of trying to include everyone. My kids and I have gone on a couple weekend trips last couple times stepkids have been here. This is very important to us. We LOVE to travel/take day trips/go exploring/on adventures. I have been doing this with my kids since they were born! I work and this is what I choose to spend my money on and DH fully supports me. So, it's been very nice on one side but the other side is that we feel like a completely divided family now. DH and his kids and me and my kids which is exactly what BM has been trying to do all along. Plus, my kids really do love their step siblings and they haven't seen them because we are doing our thing and they are doing their thing. SS told BM that we went on another weekend trip and didn't invite him and she said "great! It will be a nice quiet weekend them" Wow! She's awful. It sounds like he was hurt. So, now I'm starting to think they are feeling excluded but they couldn't come because youngest SS has baseball all weekend and BM has first right of refusal for overnights so oldest SS couldn't come. He was with his dad this weekend. Why would I take him? It feels like no matter what we do someone is hurt. This sucks. Ugh!!!