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Gifts for step-kids

curlyknecht25@hotmail.com's picture

This is my first time posting here, but I have been a lurker for months. I am a step-mother and have one DS who is 9 years old. My question is when it is your step-kid's birthday do you get them a gift from you, on top of what you DH may have already bought them. I have been with my DH for 3 years and have been doing this for quit some time with his 4 children. The problem is they never say thank you and act very entitled. Should I just disengage a step further with no gifts form me and let hubby deal with it? Or should I just suck it up and accept that they aren't very grateful?

blayze's picture

Welcome. Does your dh prompt them to be appreciative to whomever gives them a gift? He should...that's a teaching moment. I give cash in a card... their age... so a 10 year old gets $10. They are ungrateful like yours, so when they don't say thanks, it's no sweat, and I look like I made an effort (for dad's benefit). }:)

Babycarrots's picture

Ditto DownsouthinTX

I did separate when I was dating/engaged and now that we are married...gifts are together.

LAMomma's picture

We just get one gift from all of us for them.. We treat them all equally since I have two and he has two. If they ask we just say "we" got it or it's from "us" even though I do the shopping.

If they're being butts then let DH handle the gift buying, wrapping, etc. Guys typically don't do well on this or don't care enough... Make sure you pipe up that's it's all from their lovely daddddyyyy and you had no part in it, especially if it's something crappy. lol

Cover1W's picture

I have purchased gifts for them from myself.

HOWEVER due to their attitudes this past Xmas holiday I swore off anything but a gift certificate from me. I am tired of them just wanting to see "lots of presents" or "what's this? Why is this a gift?" (in response to nice bath items), or breaking them w/in 5 minutes after telling them to not treat it like that, or items BEGGED for then tossed aside a month later (even DP was mad about that one)...and to top it off assisting DP in this process, constantly last minute, and me having to help him coordinate everything...NOPE. DONE.

I gave SD10 a reasonable gift certificate for her birthday months ago, told her to let me know when she wanted to use it and I'd take her (to a craft store) or let her dad know. Not used to date, now the craft store may close at the end of summer and she'll not have a choice and it will be worthless. Oh Well.

Makes my life much, much easier and hassle free and avoids all the pitfalls of giving to unappreciative people.

notarelative's picture

All kids, bios and skids, were adults when we married. DH and I agreed that I'd buy for my kids and he'd buy for his. I will suggest a gift once in a while, but DH always pays for his kids and grands.

My kids come for the holidays. We exchange gifts. They always buy for DH.

His kids. One we haven't seen on a holiday in years. She has never, in the years I have known DH, bought him a gift. DH used to mail her a check, but stopped when she never said thank you.

Other skid is married and has two kids. They come sometime after the holidays to pick up their gifts. Sometimes they bring a gift. Sometimes not. They don't come on the holiday as they only spend holidays with family.

Teas83's picture

I used to get SD gifts just from me, but she's become an entitled little brat in the last few years so I don't anymore. Plus, I've got my own kids now so I'd rather spend extra money on them than give SD anything.