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Father's Day and living close to in-laws

stunned1's picture

My husband recently inherited his grandmother's house which is right up the hill from his parents. We moved in January 1 and there have been some challenges. My in-laws are very generous and my husband and I want to do our best to get along as good neighbors to his parents. As they get older we know they will need more help and we are happy to help in anyway we can. However, there has always been this kind of divide between my SD12 and my (now adult) children. My husband and I moved in together when my sons were 9 and 14 and we have been together for 10 years. In the beginning of our relationship it was not unusual for his parents to give his daughter and their other 3 grand children gifts for Christmas and Easter and not include my children. As the years progressed this pretty much stopped and everyone is usually treated equally. I should add that my family has more experience with blended families and has always included my SD in any gift giving holidays.
Well, now we are coming up on our first Father's Day since moving next to my in-laws. For the 10 years that we have been together I have bought my husband's Father's Day gift and put all 3 kids names on it. He has done the same for me for Mother's Day. Last night my SD asks me if she can go to my in-laws house to wrap the Father's Day present my in-laws purchased for her to give to my husband. After some inquiring, I found out that my in-laws bought my SD12 a very expensive drone for her to give my husband on Father's Day. They also weren't planning on including my sons at all. Yes, I was shocked at the price and that I was kept out of the loop about this. Really, I was hurt. I had planned on buying my husband a new tool chest because he has been mentioning he needs one. Of course, it would be from all 3 kids. Let me say that both my adult boys are in school full time and one is holding down a part time job also. They would be happy to pitch in on anything I buy for their step dad.
I know my in-laws didn't keep me out of the loop intentionally or with malice but it's the oversight that hurts. Both by them and my SD12. I thought we were past this great divide of them being family and me and my sons being outsiders. Should I buy the tool chest or pitch in on the drone, which is what my mother-in-law suggested when I spoke to her about it?

MollyBrown's picture

You should do neither. Your sons are adults and if they want to do something for your husband, they should.

twopines's picture

I would not pitch in on the drone, because that's not my gift to my husband. I would buy the tool chest and put that it's from my kids and me.

Disneyfan's picture

Your sons are not the inlaws grandkids. There's no reason for them to purchase a gift for their son, then add your adult sons' names to it. :?

At the end of the day, your husband will end up with two very nice gifts ~ one from his daughter and one from you and your sons. That is pretty normal in my world. On Father's Day my dad(stepdad but he raised my sister and I) will recieve a gift from my dad, gifts from my sister and I and gifts from our children.