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Disengaging and dealing with situations!!

I want to be a pigeon's picture

I am disengaging from my SD but I am finding that there are certain situations that are driving me nuts!! I would like some advice on what other disengaged step mums think!
I was looking for my hairband in my bedroom and SD came in and sat on the floor declaring she had found money. I put my hand out and she passed me the coin, I put it on the bed. She then began helping me look for the band and I noticed the coin was missing. She then dropped it on the floor and then walked out of the room.... No coin on the floor! She had taken it out of my room. What would you do?
The other thing is she keeps jumping around me and bouncing around and genrally repeating my name and talking utter rubbish which is driving me nuts!!!! Her behaviour is ridiculous
More seriously she is trying to take over my 18 month old son! She declares he can do things for her that he can't do for me!!! OMG I think I know what my own son can and cant do

Kes's picture

It would help to know how old your SD is. If she is a teenager she is seriously deranged - lol - but I expect she is quite young. Do you have her full time? If not, it should be pretty straightforward to disengage - as a disengaged EOW SM, I just don't get involved at all with my SDs. SD would not have been in my bedroom in the first place, as it is a no go area, and the jumping around me wouldn't have happened either. Just call for her dad to take over.
Just ignore the silly claims regarding your baby, don't let it get to you.

I want to be a pigeon's picture

She is nearly 11 and yes she is with us full time! Thanks for your reply. I think I might have to get my partner to tell her to keep out of our room particularly as she is steeling money right under my nose! I am so annoyed about it. I hate thieving so I got my partner to deal with her. My partner is now starting to see what I was previously dealing with.
Kids will be kids I get that but I have had enough! She has spoiled our holidays for the last two years in all kinds of ways. Ugh.
It seems most of her behaviour is In the form of attention seeking or manipulating situations to get her own way, get something out of us be it money sweets. She is going on about the tooth fairy whom forgot to take her tooth but left a coin, and is waiting for more money for the same tooth. Blimey, believes in the tooth fairy still? Sorry I am venting I have to get this disengaging right so it doesn't irritate me!

Crazymommaof4's picture

I know how you feel my soon to be SD is here full time along with my BS 6&14 . The SD is obnoxious! We have a rule no food in the bedrooms no where but the kitchen well she broke that rule. Few times of corse I caught her so I don't think he totally believed me needless to say he caught her one night and all hell broke loose his reaction to me was I just had to catch her in the act well I thought to myself well no I told you it was happening. Another thing she did was tried to take her cell phone to school she's 6 why she needs one is beyond me but her BM got it but I busted her in the lie when it when off in her backpack. I've totally disengaged from her and when she's around I go in my room so I have as little contact with her. It gets to the point that if I don't have away time too much contact and I go into depression til she leaves to her moms. Those are my truly happy times!