Discipline = Disciple, not punish: Does anyone train their kids up anymore?
Some wise person on this group said "you can not love your step kids more then their parents love them." SOOOO true! There have been so many times during the last 6 years of marriage, so many times...when I had to wonder why DH missed so many teachable moments, why BM didn't seem to have any rules or structure, why DH was never strong enough to call bull on something that BM did, why?
For example, when we were first married and SD12 was like, five or six, she would be over and would ask me if she could have a soda or snack right as dinner was within 5 minutes of the hot serve. Me, trying to be respectful of DH as father, would say maybe you should ask your dad (plus it saves me from being the bad guy, and not filling your kid up with junk food before dinner seemed like a no brainer to even me, who totally lacks the maternal instinct). He would say YES, SURE! Seriously, thank you DH cause now she will be full when I go to serve her a plate of "vitamines" (real food). And, yep, that is how it always played out. I have long since quit cooking for his. The last straw was him letting the older one rudely let me know she didn't like something I made. After the third time, when I went out of my way to do a kind turn and make something I thought she would love, I quit, but that is another story.
Another example, BM has let the little doll watch very scarey horror flicks that were totally child inappropriate since she was old enough to walk. Currently, those are her favorite movies. Apparently there is not movie rating issue in that house...
Another example, DH has no structure or activities planned when we have here EOW. She sits on her electronics more most of the time, except to come out of her room and eat something unhealthy.
Another, (teachable moment missed alert!) She opens the car door on the next vehicle. I would have definitely addressed this with my son, that he must be careful, people pay alot for the car, etc! I point it out to DH and he just says Ooops! Are you kidding me??
There is more but my break is over! So sick of crappy parenting.
Well, I agree with some of
Well, I agree with some of what you said anyway. You can't care more than the bio parents, that way lies madness. Dad wants to let his kid eat potato chips and dip instead of meatloaf and mashed potatoes? It's his kid, his call.
On the other hand, I do believe if a kid is rude TO YOU, then you have the right to speak up and say, "I will not be spoken to like that. Do it again and you'll WEAR that plate of food." }:) If Dear Ol' Dad doesn't like it, then he can deal with it before *I* have to. But those are his only options - speak up, or shut up and I'll defend myself.
The movies...
Nope, not with you there. Sorry. Wanna know what my kid sister's favorite movie was when she was like 8? Jaws. She rooted for the shark. She's now an exceptionally well paid executive, married with 2 kids of her own, and a hell of a woman. Doesn't seem to have hurt her a bit. 
I'm actually not really with you on the activities exactly either. I mean, I don't really believe in letting kids veg out all day every day to technology, but I don't think parents are tour directors either. Kick 'em out of the house and let them go play. My DH says he and his siblings were simply locked out of the house all summer from just after breakfast until just before dinner.
I won't go THAT far with mine, but I DO want them to just go play without needing an adult to organize for them.
The car door is ridiculous. Point out to your DH that if the other car owner sees it, they can sue YOUR insurance, making your rates go up. When all he has to do it tell her to be careful. That's just dumb of him. And not even so much "crappy parenting" as it is "lazy as shit".
Good points. I am a bit of a
Good points. I am a bit of a control freak. I only had one and I guess me and DH are on opposite ends when it comes to parenting. I alway tell him if we had an ours child we would brutilize each other!
I guess my concern is that she used to be tiney and has gained alot of weight. Middle school is cruel, and now she is cutting herself.
As for the movies, I am talking Pet Cemetary, any of the Friday the 13th movies, Halloween, etc. The really scarey ones. In fact, I know of parents who have had no issue with little kids and R rated movies. Maybe I am just too old school? Dad, he is total Disney and BM doesn't care as long as school doesn't call and complain about missing home work because then it becomes her problem.
Nothing wrong with different
Nothing wrong with different parenting styles, until you're trying to parent the same kid!
Aw, poor kid! I can see why you're concerned. That's terrible that her own parents don't see that and try to help.
I do NOT understand parents like that. Especially the cutting, that is an outright plea for help.
Have you watched the "really
Have you watched the "really scary ones" lately? They are more stupid than they are scary. We must have been stupid to be scared by them. Kids today think they're more funny than anything. I think there was more peer-fear in these movies...anticipating something scary and the friend watching with you does something to make you jump; or your combined fear multiplies when you watch with friends. I don't think kids really believe what they're watching because the cinematography is so archaic LOL