How do YOU see it. 

Ours was greatly enriched because of the kids dh and I made. THANK GOD for them.

You must commit to protecting your own bio kids above all kids...and that means step kids. Your bios are depending on you it is IS your obligation.

I have a 9month old BS and my husband has 12 years old daughter and 8 year old son. 

I didn’t have any concerns. Everything was perfect but after we had our little baby my mind changed. 

There’s nothing more important in the whole world than this little boy and my instincts won’t allow no one to take away from him even unintentionally and even his own father for the sake of his half siblings. I have spoken up about it and my DH understands but of course it’s not a pleasant thing to hear.  He wishes we are together on everything but turned out I’m not all in in raising his kids and I don’t need to as they have a mother. We are not struggling  and everything is good and I hope it will stay that way because otherwise my son will have only whatever is left and not be a priority but a one third of it. 

I was very excited and happy to have my first child with DH (whom he has a son from a previous marriage). SS and I got along very well. In fact, SS was overjoyed when we broke the news to him that we were pregnant. In retrospect, I now wish I ran far, far away from them. Once I had my son, it was over. I couldn't stand SS anymore and wish he would just go away. I've been told it's a natural instinct, especially once I had my own children-biologically I want to raise and protect my own children and a child that isn't mine is just a resource suck and doesn't benefit my bloodline whatsoever (I hoped I summed that up correctly). Currently working these feelings out on this site.

Despite the 8 year age gap, SS10 and DS2 get along immensely well. They bicker like any siblings would and love each other to death. SS10 had his issues with not getting 100% of the attention 100% of the time anymore, but after lots of patience and assurance, he seems more secure in his role and placement in the family. The teen years are coming for SS so we are bracing ourselves for impact! I do appreciate that they have such a strong bond, and hope they will continue to have a good relationship for the rest of their lives.

I had an okay relationship with my SD, but once pregnant, I found myself highly annoyed with her. When the baby came, I still felt that way, and little things like her jealousy over me buying things for the baby or her asking if I love her more because she was here first drove me crazy. I wanted to pull my hair out most days when she was nearby. Once he was old enough to pay attention to her, I started feeling a lot better because I saw how much HE liked her and it reminded me how lucky I am that my child has a good big sibling. t's 

I do struggle with things like having to spend the same amount of money on them, having to give them the same amount of attention, etc. Just basically being fair to SD when everything in me is screaming to do for my son and that's it. I often think about how much more my son would have if it were just him - more of my time, more clothing, toys, etc. but than I try to remember that honestly, he doesn't mind because he loves her. 

It's hard... My relationship with SD changed, but my relationship with my husband got stronger than ever. I finally appreciate what an involved, incredible dad he is. It used to annoy me when he was always talking about SD, playing with her, going easy on her, but when he's like that with our son, it's so heartwarming. My husband and I are much more on the same page now.