Help, new to this lifestyle
Hi everyone, I'm not a wife, but I moved in with my boyfriend who has 2 kids (5,8) from a previous marriage. His divorce papers finalized in May. I'm having such a hard time adjusting . At first it was fine, but now I'm really really having a hard time. EX lives walking distance away, and the boundaries post divorce are very loose. Every once in a while all 4 of them hang out together for the sake of kids. They also have in their divorce agreement they can't move out of city where we live. I've been dreaming of moving to another city since I"ve been here for more than 15 years I want warmer weather. We want to have a child of our own and I've tried IVF but it has not been successful. I am also under so much stress I don't know what to do. I'm 40 and at this age I feel trapped and stuck. Oh, to top it all off we live in his house where he and his ex lived and that depresses me so much. I try for it not to depress me but I can't help it, toys and kids stuff just everywhere even the ex's sonogram of one of the kids on the fridge. We can't break our lease for another year and half because of penalties. I tried to get him to move to another place before I moved in and lease was renewed but he wanted to stay for consistency for the kids. I don't know what to do. I'm just praying at this point. He is a wonderful wonderful man . the ex is very involved with the kids too. I'm just feeling like I don't have a place sometimes and life has been laid out for me with all the decisions about where we live. I've put down my foot on many things - like more boundaries and not having to do everything with kids all the time it has been exhausting for me...helping raise his kids and none of my own so far. Any advice? does it get any better? I told him yesterday I'm trying so hard but it is so so so difficult for me. I'm wondering what's wrong with me. We talked about marriage 6 months into our relationship (it's been 1.5 yrs) but after I moved in I have had cold feet about it.