Run.

Seriously, his divorce was final in May and you've already moved in and his ex lives walking distance and so they all hang out as a family still "for the kids". Hell no. Get out of there and find a man who wants to be with you and only you, not making you share him with his exwife.

I have mixed feelings bout your post. I to have no children, but my fiancé does. It does make things difficult at times because THEIR NOT YOURS the love and bond is not there plus it sounds like the ex is too 'in your face' all the time. That must be difficult for you, I can definitely empathize with you . When your life has always been you, then it becomes you and him, plus them it is a drastic change, it is easy to resent the children and definitely the ex. My advice would be for one do a X cleaning. explain to your guy how sonograms and the home serve as memories before you and they make you uncomfortable. I understand you cant leave the property but you can de-ex wife it. Its like breaking up with someone, but keeping the gifts they gave and their picture up, its uncomfortable and if I can say a lil rude of him. Go thru the home, take all those things that 'trigger' the thoughts and put them up somewhere for the children. they deserve to have it , but you don't deserve to have it rubbed in your face. paint the place, change it up, OWN IT make it YOUR home. 2nd advice is to make a 2/3/5 year plan together. have him make one and you make your own, that will show you where you truly stand. Make one together if needed , put him in the place to think on all that you see and think about daily. As far as the ex wife living close and them being all chummy about it...well that's got to be very uncomfortable, but think about it, it could be a LOT worse. atleast they are trying to be adults for the children. I personally would explain my uneasiness with that and ask that their 'hanging out' be brought greatly down to the minimum. Only functions that are for the children. If he has problems with any of this , then maybe he is not ready for you or for anyone . But the fact that your here, trying to get advice shows you care. I am knocking on 40 myself and I will not just be a additive to a mans family, I want to be part of it not a reluctant replacement or addition. if this is what you find you are move on honey, before its to late.

I like the idea of making the home your own. Just because the ex lived there before, doesn't mean reminders of her should be everywhere. A sonogram on the fridge? Oh hell no, I would have ripped it down the very first time I saw it. As far as him hanging out with his ex and continuing to play family, that is just unacceptable in my book. It's good that they get along and she helps take care of the children- that will save you a lot of drama in the future. But the only time they should be around each other is drop offs/pick ups and activities (soccer games, school assemblies, things like that- and even then, there's no reason to sit together). It sounds like he may not be over his ex.

RUN!! Don't walk - RUN!! and run as fast as you bloody well can!!

This man ain't for you darl - from the looks of it - he's still in love with the ex.

There's a better life for you out there.

I'm living in BMs childhood home. DH bought it from her father when he was 19 before it was foreclosed on. I find it annoying too. Not only do her things pop up randomly but so does her parents things. I've tried doing little remodeling to make it more ours but honestly it doesn't change anything. I've been searching for a new house for a couple of years now and something always comes up or "the timings not right". We are in a good location and the house although it's old isn't terrible. I wanted to move into a new home before we had any kids but that's not happening. And speaking of sonograms/ultrasounds, when I found out i was pregnant and put mine on the fridge, the first thing DH wanted to do was go find BMs ultrasound of Ss and put it next to it. Yeah that did not happen! If I were you I would start making plans to move on. It doesn't get easier and you'll only be more "stuck" if you have a kid. I mean if he's not an exemplary father now, do you think he'll change because this time it's with you? Nah

I can understand your cold feet and trying to understand where your place is. My fiancé has 2 kids and we have them almost 50% of the time. Their mother lives about 10 mins away and when I met him, they were going to dinners and lunches together as a family, along with other things. We had a lot of conversations about it and I told him how uncomfortable it made me feel, especially because I met him very soon after their divorce. We've come a long way in a year's time but it's taken a lot of conversation, tears, more tears and conversation. I am still hurt by the amount of conversation/interaction they have but I think it will get better in time.

My advice - keep the communication open and you'll know if and when you want to move forward. I don't think there is anything wrong with you....this stuff is just hard to deal with.

Hugs to you.