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Divorce consultation next week

Rexxleo998's picture

Well I finally did it! I called some divorce lawyers and I Have a consultation next week.

god it will be so good to be free of these people. After 7 years of helping my stbx wife child I have had enough.

after 7 long years she made it clear that me having a child of my own would be a burden to her. But her having a kid by a dead beat who has not paid a single dime of child support is not tho

while the dead beat baby daddy was committing crimes I was being mr responsible! 

the baby daddy is 49 years old and got arrested for slashing car tires!  He didn't even have to marry my stbx to get a child.

but I married her and raised her child as my own and my stbx still acted funny.

I have came to terms that I got used and it will take a reallly long time for me to trust anyone romantically again.

But this is what has to be done. I'm tired of being treated like I don't matter. I'm tired of raising everyone else's kids without having my own in the picture.

I don't think I'm wrong for expecting my own kids when I got married. She used me. It's all good.

Im just so excited to get this ball rolling though. I'm sad at the same time but I deserve better. It shouldn't be a crime to want children from the person you married..

the part that hurt me the most was I was good enough to help her raise her child but wasn't good enough to have my own kids. 
 

 

 

 

IHeartCows's picture

Painful but it will get better.  Know your worth and expect respect.  

ESMOD's picture

I'm sorry she lied to you about such an important issue.  Of course, as the person who actually has to bear the child, she should have that veto override.. but the time to share that she didn't want more kids was much earlier, rather than later.

It may not be that she held the loser EX in higher esteem. it may be more that she wasn't thrilled to be a mom the first time.. or hated the pregnancy process and feels fulfilled enough with the child she does have.  But she should have been more honest with you so that you could have been looking for someone that DID match your life goals.  And.. yeah.. there is no guaranty that the love of your life would be able to have kids (not her.. but the theoretical other women you might have dated).. so it's possible you meet someone you love, loves you and wants to have a child.. but you can't.. That IS a different situation than someone lying about plans to try though.. 

Winterglow's picture

From one of his earlier posts:

"Yes she told me she wanted more kids before we got married. That was a main point that we discussed

she Promised to give me a child after nursing school. But instead she just used me to get through nursing school

I let her use my gi bill for nursing school becuase she promised a baby. "

ESMOD's picture

A new variation of a "gold digger" I guess.  I feel bad for him and it sounds like fraud would definitely be good grounds.. I wonder if he could get any value for the fact that he covered her schooling with his benefit that he could have otherwised used himself?  At the very least hopefully no spousal support!  

I guess the silver lining is he doesn't have a child with this person.. she doesn't sound like she is very nice.

Winterglow's picture

I hope he has a pitbull lawyer who will take her to the cleaners. Some of the things she said to him were absolutely sickening. 

Stepdrama2020's picture

I was in a similar boat. My exDH said before we married he wanted more children with me. I married the guy, he changed his mind, he literally said he doesnt need more kids because SD was perfection. Perfection that is,  IF you are a snot nosed entitled lil B. That she perfected thanks to daddio kissing her rather large arse.

Anyway move on, find someone and go make a beautiful family. Once you let go of toxic your life goes uphill !

Blessings to you.

Rexxleo998's picture

Thank you I really needed that. She was always trying to minimize all the things I did for them. I think that is what hurt the most.... 

most recently she told me I'm just here as in I just live here and don't do anything special for anyone.

especially when the baby daddy made 0 contributions. How could anyone be so entitled. It blows my mind..

I will definitely need therapy when this is all over...

CLove's picture

Now you can focus on you and your future. Let us know how it goes!