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Yet another big blowout with DF

jeaniemarie's picture

So last night DF and I are sitting there, and his older son walks in. He starts talking to his dad, and I just sit and play on my laptop. After a while, I left the room to feed my cats. I heard his son say, "So on Wednesday, are you going to be alone?" thinking I was working or something. After he left, I asked DF what that was all about. DF said, "He wants me to come over to his place one day this week or next." (They know better than to invite me, since I cannot stand the son's girlfriend. She is banned from our house) I said ok, that I will just make plans to visit friends while he is gone. This was unacceptable to him, since he really does not like a lot of my friends.

Well I lost it. I told him that I did not appreciate being ignored for a whole hour the other night, and that I *WILL NOT* be staying in the room when he visits with his kids anymore. I also told him that I don't appreciate how everything just has to Stop because they decide to come in and have a conversation with him. (I also said that if I went over to my mom's house to visit, there is no way in hell that my stepdad would stop what he was doing just because I was there.)

He starts saying that he wants a family, and he does not like the tension in the house. I said if you want a family, you will have to get back with the boys' mom, because no sane woman is going to put up with this sh*t. Who wants to be treated like they are non-existent in their own house, seriously? My friggin life does not revolve around his grown kids. Then I took my dog and went to the pet store to walk around for an hour.

When I came back, I really did not say much to him. I am going back to just ignoring those little turds when they are around. If DF does not like it, tough! I am DONE, DONE, DONE!!!!

hereiam's picture

Your DF needs a reality check. If he wants a family (and for you to be part of it) why does he ignore you when his kids are around? And let them ignore you?

If you were to ask my husband who his family is, he would say, "Hereiam."

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Why is it unacceptable to him for you to see your friends without him? If he doesn't like them it seems it would be perfect for you to see your friends while he sees his kids.

sandye21's picture

Your DH sounds like he wants a dictatorship rather than a partnership with you. It's OK for him to see SS without you but NOT for you to see your friends without him. Blatant double standard. Good for you for telling giving him a reality check. Ask him if his ex-wife would have put up with her son ignoring her in her own house. If your DH wants a 'happy family' he needs to do what is necessary to create it - and that means insisting that there is respect for his wife. Don't put up with it.