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BM is still on a major power trip & BF might be reaching his limit?

sammmx's picture

I don't know how well/if any of you follow my blog or are familiar with my story, but to sum it up - we had custody of SS9 and SS3 for the summer because BM was in detox/homeless. Beginning of September she was returned custody and being bitter and blaming us for her loss of the children, she began to withhold them. BF is extremely passive with her and would rather avoid conflict because BM will PAS the Skids against him if he so much as raises an eyebrow at her. So he, to date, has done nothing.

After about 2 weeks of completely withholding the Skids from us, BM contacted BF because she needed a babysitter for a couple hours on Tuesdays while she attended therapy. For 2 straight weeks she actually brought the kids to us on Tuesdays and last weekend she also allowed us to have the Skids. BF was convinced she was 'starting to come around' and they'd be back on schedule again. I am not as blind when it comes to BM. She just got accepted into another of the subsidized housing communities for people on welfare (essentially the ghetto but at this point better than the homeless shelter she WAS living with the SKids at) and planned on moving that weekend and didn't want the Skids undertoe. But whatever, to save an argument I let BF think what he wanted and enjoy his weekend with his kids.

This Tuesday rolls up and BM calls in the morning to make sure BF had SS9's backpack organized (he forgot it on the weekend) and she'd be by to get it. BF assumed that meant when she dropped the kids off. Low and behold she does not show up, does not call, and BF cannot get ahold of her. I figure she just decided it would be easier to keep her control of the situation and just avoid BF and buy SS9 a new backpack. She does this. When she first took the SKids and refused to return them she never came to get any of their clothes/toys, instead she just replaced all of it! How she affords this, is beyond me, considering she lives off welfare and since she has been withholding the children BF has not been giving her CS. SS9 told me on the weekend BM bought herself a brand new iPhone5 and each of the kids brand new fishing rods recently too. I really would love to know how she does it (although I imagine it's acquired illegaly in some way/shape/form).

So finally today we get ahold of BM, as BF had texted her to see if we would be getting the SKids again this weekend. She told him no, they were busy and had plans. She also informed him that she found someone else to watch the SKids on Tuesdays as well, not to worry about it. He starts to get pissed, I can hear him cursing under his breath as he's texting her. He asks her when he WILL get the Skids again. Her response? "Oh I don't know, I'll let you know when I need you next." Are you freaking kidding me? She basically TOLD him the only time she intends on letting him see HIS OWN KIDS is when she needs a free babysitter? Ridiculous. He texted her back "Alright then, enjoy your power trip and I'll see you in court." That shut her up.

And here we are again, headed into another weekend SKid free. Well, BF's BS9 (different from SS9, as previously mentioned SS9 isn't biologically BF's although is SS3's brother) may or may not be here. But he's no burden. I don't write about him alot or his mother because they're pretty much a non-issue. Anyway... It will be interesting to see whether or not BF actually goes through with his threat of court. I've only been telling him since day fucking 1 to go to court and get shit in writing because you can't trust her. But of course, he -always- has to give her the benefit of a doubt. I'm at the point where I just don't even get involved. BM randomly called me last week and I just ignored it... And I plan to continue my life with as little contact with her as possible. Ugh. I can only imagine how great my life would be if I had met BF -first-... sigh.


StickAFork's picture

Wow, what a beyotch. Withholding the kids but having the nerve to ask him to watch them when she needs a sitter.

A piece of advice... I know it's SOOO tempting to forgo paying CS when she withholds, but sadly, that's illegal. Even more sadly, the courts will punish him more than they will her. Also, if you live in a state that calculates interest, his relatively small debt could BALLOON in no time. (My state compounds daily.)
He needs to pay CS. Regardless of what she does...because it's the right thing to do, and will be better for him in the long run.

If he absolutely refuses to pay it, at the very least he's hopefully setting it aside in a different back account for his kids.

Kilgore SMom's picture

BF needs to keep al texted and show them to his lawyer. Why would a judge let them live with her full time and not BF? At this point their both in contempt of court.