Why can’t he work
Am I missing something here? I tried talking to my fiancé(who will most likely not make it to be my husband) AGAIN but anything I say regarding his son goes in one ear and out the other. Due to Covid I am currently working from home, my fiancé is a contractor so he's usually out the house by 8 every morning including weekends. Meanwhile his 19 year old son stays in room all day and doesn't come out until it's time for him to go smoke weed with his friends.
How can someone be totally okay with the fact that their child has no plans, goals, or ambition to do anything. He doesn't even have a drivers license and no plans to get one. How can a man be okay with this behavior for their son?! It's just mind boggling to me. And he wants me to have 2 more children? After watching not parent his son for the past 3 years....I don't think so.
Run! Don't waste your good
Run! Don't waste your good reproductive years with a man that has shown you he is a shitty dad.
Plans in motion
Oh trust me I am putting my plan in motion and I will be out of here soon. Enough is enough
Gross. This "kid" should
Gross. This "kid" should definitely be working in some capacity. No reason not to. How does he get money to do the stuff he wants to do? Is that all paid for by your fiance?
Expenses
yes my fiancé and my fiancé's mother..they still refer to him as "the baby"....I also found a stash of marijuana and some distribution bags...contrary to what his father thinks..he's clearly selling marijuana He actually had the nerve to tell me that his son is a saint compared to him at that age....it's ridiculous at this point
They cripple/abuse these kids
My Aunt did that...babied her totally normal son all his life, he is now 55yo still living with mommy. He used to be really smart my parents said. Of course my cousin took the easy road n just sucked off momma all his life. He is pathetic n she did that to him. He NEVER held a job,Never married or traveled or lived on his own. What kind of life is that?
These so called parents have some mental deficit and have kids to fill their needs (which is abusive and emotional incest which stunts children)
Because ppl have issues, choose not to heal, have a baby and force baby to make them feel loved n special
Part of the unspoken contract between the mentally deficient parent and their spawn is "you give me strokes...ex be my confidant cuz I don't have any adult friends...like my dh..., and adore me, even treat me like crap if you just would NEED me n my money so I can feel worth as a person because I refuse to get therapy n really heal....and if you make me feel like a worth while human being, I will pay you for your services with money, free housing, drugs...anything n everything
Next gen...the spawn, if they ever leave mommee or daddees house will pass this way of 'love' on to their kids.
This kind of parenting is an insidious form of child abuse that cripples kids in many ways.
Very heartbreaking to witness this sad, sick dynamic. This type of child abuse is just not talked about much
It is why I want to stay and encourage healing
I also found a stash of
Technically he's working. LOL
If you're in a state where marajuana is legalized then he can get a marajuana card and become a bud groomer or something like that. They like to hire people who know their stuff. Sounds like he's already an expert on subject.
replace likely
The "likely" in your post should be replaced by "definitely ".
When people show you who they are, believe them.
I don't get it either. My SS
I don't get it either. My SS is 20.5 and in the same situation as yours - and BM just allows it. He hasn't worked or gone to college in over a year. No driver's license.
Of course, BM is getting Child Support still for my SS, so that may play into it. I'd have no respect for a man who allowed his son to do that.
Have none
Everyday I am completely losing whatever respect I have left for him. I just don't get it at all. I'm a parent to a 10 year old boy and I'll be damned if I allow this sort of behavior from him.
Same here - Pajama Boy situation
Our situation is similar to yours. At least you have the opportunity to not proceed with your relationship after seeing this major red flag.
Without going into great detail, I have a 19-year-old stepson who lays in bed all day. On rare occasions, he meets up with a friend. This is always arranged after dark, so I assume its for one kind of vice or another. I won't go into all the details of how DW has enabled this situation for years and this is the fruition of it. And then we throw in the COVID-19 situation, which means that, even if he "wanted" to work, it makes things more difficult. He could work at the local supermarket checkout as a bagger, but he has indicated that this is beneath him when it was suggested to him. Also, my wife has a pre-existing condition, which makes me reluctant to further suggest that the stepkid work in a crowded place and potentially bring back the virus. But he likely would not be working, epidemic or not.
For just a little bit of humor, I recently heard someone on a podcast talking about the "pajama boy" health insurance advertisement and got curious, so I googled it. The image search was literally schocking: it's a picture of my stepson - that is, the model looks exactly like him, same face, hair, glasses, same facial expression. My wife even agreed, and when we showed the image to him, he stormed out of the room, saying "What the *%#@ does that have to do with me!" Not that this is going to change anything.