They pretend he doesn't exist
This has bubbled up for me again (a lot has since the skids' fall "visit" that almost did me in. . . I feel like I'm purging). There's nothing anyone can do about this except let go of it and not care. I just can't wrap my brain around how &*#$ing NASTY and pretentious some people can be.
Luckily, the skids--who contact DH generally on a weekly basis and who constantly tell him they love him (and the one who sent Christmas gifts)--live a few hundred miles away. DH knew that a false public narrative had been spread about him and the divorce years ago in that town. He sensed it during visits when he and the skids ran into people they and/or the ex knew. We strongly felt it at SD's wedding, where we were treated like lepers. No congratulatory handshakes there. Social media is proof that "the big lie" has been told and must be maintained, and that all must bow to the ex and her commands (she must be worshipped publicly).
My DH has not been active on social media "because of the (family) drama." In truth, it's because he doesn't want to see things as they are, he doesn't want to confront that reality, and he doesn't want his feelings hurt. The skids and I connected on social media at varying times, back when there were glimmers of hope that things were getting better.
I stopped "following" them a few years ago when all I was seeing in my feed was Mommy-adoration and praises, the constant cheek-to-cheek with Mommy profile pictures (we're talking "kids" in their 20s and 30s), the false images put out there, and NEVER any mention that they even had a father. Mother's Day on Facebook looks like a cult event, while Father's Day does not exist. Like a dummy, it took me a long time to realize that if I ever tagged them in a photo (of their father or of them or with them during a visit), they had their settings so that only me and them would see the photo. I could provide hundreds of examples of this, but perhaps the most brutal was after DH's recent major health crisis; yes, I peeked at the skids' FB pages, and NOTHING was mentioned. NOT A WORD from these "prayerful" phonies. In fact, the Mommy and Me and Praise Mommy photos blew up (typical after one of their visits with us). It was worse than a slap in the face. Their father came close to dying.
They pretend publicly that their father doesn't exist. It supports their "abandonment" narrative crafted so long ago. They cannot let go of that story without looking like the hypocrites and liars they are. Their mother dug the hole they jumped into and cannot crawl out of. They keep living this public lie, which feeds their mother's need for undivided attention and devotion and extreme cult-like loyalty. It is freaky, sad, and disgusting!
How a parent is ok with this is mind-boggling. Again, the skids are no longer in my feed. I have limited it so they cannot see what I post any longer. I need to re-purge all of this before the New Year. I'm not living 2024 with the irritation and anger that has boiled up inside of me since this fall. I'm going to have to unfriend and then block the dark-souled monsters and be done with them. I know what I know. I see reality. I don't like it. I need to quit irritating myself by having these creatures anywhere in my life--electronically or otherwise.