Well, we'll see how long it lasts....

SS23, as I have mentioned previously, lives for dirt cheap in our guest house. He has lived with us for 3 years and in those 3 years he has done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to improve his financial, social, or educational situation. He works 2 dead end jobs (one for his mom for min. wage, one with my sister for just above min.. wage, both zero opportunity for advancement and he hates them both). He does not go to school, he has no career aspirations, he stays up all night playing World of Warcraft, he hardly ever goes out and he doesn't date. He claims he will be registering for college again this next term, but the last time he said he was doing that, he got wait listed for every class he wanted and never showed up to petition the classes. He thought the school would call him if the spots opened up. Oh. My. God.

By 23 I was in the beginning stages of my career and lived on my own with a roommate, so I have little patience for this young man who is making no move to take care of himself. For gods sake, his mom still pays his cell phone!

DH is finally getting annoyed with the situation. He finally sees that SS definitely falls into the failure to launch category and told me and HIM that by this time next year he will not be living with us anymore. Which is great because I want to move to a nicer place that does not include a guest house and I don't plan to allow a 24 year old to sleep on my couch (because I also don't plan to get a place big enough to accommodate this man-child).

The final straw for DH is the fact that he is going to be having hernia surgery and ever since he found out, he has been asking SS if he will be able to help him at work. DH owns a physically demanding small business and after the surgery he will need some help for the first couple of weeks. I want to help him but there is some pretty heavy lifting involved that I am not strong enough to do. SS completely balked a the idea, saying my sister just could not get along without him. He is a DOG WASHER for gods sake, not a rocket scientist, and my sister could find someone to fill in. My sister is being kind of bitchy about it too, saying how much she depends on SS but come on, she's not going to lose her business if SS isn't there for a week, but my DH could lose his.(Not even a week, he works 2 or 3 days a week for her). They're acting like he is soooooo indispensable but I know it's not that dire. One of my sister's former employees has been asking to come back and fill in so i know for sure he'd be happy to do SS's job. And i know that's his job, but i think your own dad should come before your step aunt. I told DH that honestly, SS doesn't WANT to help him out, and this is an excuse. He has ALWAYS complained about how DH's job is just "too much manual labor" and how much he hates it, so this is just a convenient way to get out of it.

DH is hurt and disgusted at his son's lack of willingness to help his dad out in a bind. He and I were raised that family comes first, and when someone needs help, you help. And it's not like we wouldn't pay him, we don't expect him to do it for free. What makes DH the most mad is that SS has always jumped when his mom says but we ask him for very little and it's like pulling teeth. He feels that his son has no respect for him as a dad, and that's making DH have no respect in return. He said he's going to have a long talk with him tonight, but honestly I don't think he should bother. As a back up, DH called my cousin to see if he might be able to help him out and he said yes without even hesitating. I told DH that my cousin would have a way better attitude and be much better company anyway(seriously SS is like a damn MUTE at times! Dragging conversation out of him is almost PAINFUL).

I am just fed up at SS's complete lack of forward progress in his life in the past 3 years. We thought that him finally getting away from his enabling mother would get him on a better track, but he has not matured in the LEAST! I will not have that slug living with us forever, but if he had a choice, why would he leave? He truly has it made. And unlike most kids his age, doesn't have a problem living with parents. I'm just glad DH is finally getting fed up too. He knows his son is beyond behind in life and is disgusted that he has not made any effort to become educated and independent.

Honestly he needs to be out in less than a year. I don't want to live in this house for that much longer, and now that our lease is up, we can move any time. I am not going to put my plans on hold while SS gets his shit together. I want to move in January and SS can go back to his mom or move in with his grandparents, I don't really care. I will not stay here longer that I want to for HIM. Nor will I allow him to crash on my couch in another house while he continues to get his shit together. He's had 3 years, if he hasn't changed AT ALL in that time, I have little hope that he ever will. I'm so glad DH is starting to feel the same way, so that I don't have to be the bad guy who kicks his poor widdle boy to the curb.

Thanks for letting me vent!