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Single white female SD

Freshstart's picture

My SD18 had over attachment mini-wife issues with Daddy. At 14 that was ok because its the parents who created the situation as I see it. As responsible adults they needed to recognise and address it. DH has done his best to fix the damage.

My issue especially lately is that she copies my outfits. Favourite colours are now her favourites. I wear a style of shirt and she has the same a week later. This coupled with a lot of skillfully applied make up especially when there is an opportunity to go out with or to be driven somewhere by Daddy is unnerving.

thanks for being a place to vent.

I feel better just writing. DH does not get it and noone can be bothered telling him.

does it surprise anyone to learn that SD has no really good friends and no boyfriend?

Orange County Ca's picture

^^^^^^^^ Exactly what I was going to say. She'll quit when she has a serious boyfriend.

Freshstart's picture

Thankyou for the ideas. It helps. Think it is probably flattery in a way and some sort of competitiveness. Even though I would guess SD18 is not that aware of how mixed up she is.

I realise now for some reason I was focusing on a minor symptom of the much bigger issues. The energy that SD18 brings to our home is negative and calculating. It is a whole lot of "poor me" and "oh I can't even come out of my room, noone loves me". She is too smart to say anything and knows just how to play her dad every step of the way. What has me on tenterhooks is that DH appears to buy it. He calls out to her in her room and even requires my 6 year old to go talk to her and bring her things. What's wrong with saying to an 18 year old that they need to get up and participate? Feels like if I make a wrong move, it will all be my fault. I have no doubt that he blames me.

If I say that SD18 sat looking sullen and giving me death stares during dinner. He says "Oh she just has a quiet personality." and this morning said to me "You could make more effort." That is so unfair. Socially I am very normal and friendly. It is so much hard work making effort with her, looking after a 6 year old and working full time. He does not see that he could require his daughter to make an effort.

Bring on the boyfriend or even a bestie. Although i hear these type of girls still stay fixated on their dads. People write here about 40 and 50 year old women who are the same.

I want out!