Ideas before tonight's counselling session wise step parents please?
Quick recap SD18. Was 50/50 and now with us 5 nights a fortnight. SD finished 1st year uni. 13 week holiday until February next year. Husband working. Me part time around 5 year olds school and holidays. SD18 sees herself as direct competition to me and has taken step down from percieved Mini-wife status to heart. SD appears to have no regular hang out friends (talks alot about "my group" at uni but does not go out and catch up with them, no boyfriend, no hobbies. SD tends to sit home on the holidays. Minor improvement recently, DH got her a job which is typically 2x4hour shifts a week. She is a good student doing double degree. I fear that she will want to stay with us for another 5 years at least to complete it.
Particularly frustrating last 5 days with her, sat home all day every day. Insights rudeness in my 5 year old, sniggers and smirks while I try to get my normally good little boy back on track. SD tells lies to daddy. Didn't go out all weekend. Had a particularly superior attitude. We had previously been doing a better job of being a team e.g. he would say each morning "Right what are you doing today? I want you to make sure you get out and do something. Let Freshstart know when." He has stopped stepping up to the plate like that at all. He just chuffs off to work and leaves the homebody to me.
DH promised to have a serious discussion with her about expectations for the holidays. His requirement for her to fill in her time constructively and preferably out and about e.g. charity or volunteer work if she really cannot find more part time work, join a singing group whatever.
So nothing has happened.
Counselling session tonight. Where do I start? How would you approach it?