SD20 Feral Forger wants to move back in
After their big argument via text regarding her cashing of stolen checks against a bank account in his name, and a long period of silence on her part, SD20 asked DH if she could move into "his place".
She obviously doesnt know that "his place" is now "our place" as of the beginning of this month when our purchase went through and was funded.
Toxic Troll BM is moving in a few weeks, and according to Munchkin SD13, will NOT be inviting Feral Forger to move with them. During drop off, DH spoke with FF, and she actually hugged him.
When he told me of this, I couldnt help myself - I quipped "ahhhh shes buttering you up!"
Then I relented and said "but I know it felt good that she said hello and gave you a hug."
He said the he told her "NO", as in a hard no, then followed it with "but you can go to your gmas!" where she would have to suck it up and apologise to her uncle, the one she accused of being a pervert who wanted to watch her try on bathing suits (she had asked him to buy one for her, all things she chose).
I knew this would eventually happen - I want him to have his relationship with his kid, just separately from our lives. He gets that.
I also knew that she would try to worm her way back into our home, my sanctuary, once her mother moved. I mean, come on. A long period of silence, after telling him hes an abusive parent and hes not her father anymore, and suddenly shes speaking to him out of the blue, and giving HUGS?
LOL. How brazenly transparent. He seems strong right now, but shes a liar and his child. So, my anxiety over this begins. I want her safely tucked away somewhere away from us. Somewhere that I dont have to see her or hear her voice, where she cant affect our lives. Does such a place even exist?
I get that it's his kid, but
I get that it's his kid, but - after all she's done, why would he even consider it in any way, shape or form? Why would you have to worry?
Im anxious
Because there is always that POSSIBILITY.
She still has no job, no drivers license, no car. She's basically helpless "as a newborn babe".
And we have a nice big house. I just hope he stays strong...!
Maybe I read too much
ON here - tooo many horror stories of Skids that fail to launch and bio parents that get suckered into providing food and shelter for adult pos skids.
If you made it clear to your
If you made it clear to your H that his daughter is not allowed to live in the home that you BOTH purchased.....I don't see why this should even be a worry or concern. A safe haven does exist especially when it's been established and known that SD living with you both is not an option. She can take her forging checks @ss and stay with her grandmother.....this shoudn't even be a blip in your radar.
Thanks
I just had an accident so Im feeling vulnerable.
Like, his 97 year old mother wouldnt even know she was there! So its sort of a possibility. Thus far shes been couch camping at TT apartment. Shes a manipulator, so she might be able to butter someone up soon enough. DH has made it clear to me at least that its not ever going to be an option. So I need to just breathe.
Maybe I read too much on here about failed launches of skids, and super enabling bio parents.
Wishing you a speedy recovery
Wishing you a speedy recovery Clove. I can understand the anxiety especially with something that you would absolutely dread and don't want to have to deal with.
THANKS
Yes. Everyone on here gets me. Such a relief.
Poor Grandma
Why does Grandma have to take her? Why does anyone have to take her? I think she needs to hit rock bottom so she can see what it feels like. She has alienated BM and stepdad with he poor decisions. Have her seek help with the welfare office and maybe a few cold nights. It will definately make a job so muych more appealking to this adultescent.
Big House
Gma has the older brother taking care of her in a really large house with renters who acutally pay. She used to watch gma for different folks when it was their turn.
Its a big close knit family. I told dH that he cant recomend her to anyone - shes a liar and a thief, on top of everything else.
You nor dh need to recommend
You nor dh need to recommend her regardless. Tell her she's too old for dipeys, find her big girl panties, pull them up, and get some independence. Hurry up buttercup!!
I agree! She will continue to
I agree! She will continue to act like a spoiled brat as long as people enable her. Give her the number of some local shelters. Let her hit rock bottom.
I can understand your anxiety
I can understand your anxiety - I have faced this kind of situation a number of times over the years, when one or other of the SDs fell out with NPD BM and pushed to move in with us. However, I said no then, and would continue to say no. But there is always that anxiety that DH will try and put pressure on to let this happen, it is after all his daughter. But my SDs, like Feral Forger, are adults now - 22 and nearly 25 - they can ask away but it will never happen, over my dead body. It sounds like no-one much wants FF to live with them and who can blame them? poor thing, she will need to start adulting and get her own place.
No.
Is a complete sentence.
I dont care who has his DNA, I do not consider her family. He knows this. Yeah. Poor widdle snow flake will have to get a job! whaaaaaaaa.
FF actually had the nerve to
FF actually had the nerve to say "just so you know I was here FIRST".
Isn't it great that she doesn't get to say that nonsense anymore. The home you and H purchased is YOURS and her petty @ss will never get to live in it.
"Just so YOU know"
"Im here now. And not going ANYWHERE"
Wish Id had the cajones to respond with exactly this.
YES - it feels so dang good to know she cannot worm her way in. She is not smart enough to try to butter me up. Then Id have a bit of a problem.
The Salvation Army has a
The Salvation Army has a pallet she can sleep on. She'll have to do some cleaning and meal prep, and find somewhere else to be during the day. And she'll have no privacy. Maybe then she'll want a job.
It sounds as though under current circumstances your DH has been
able to say no to her, and that's wonderful! I would be anxious as well given that as BM's moving date get's closer you don't know what extreme length FF may go to, to get her own way with your DH. I would definitely bring it up, as in...wow I suppose FF doesn't want to go and live with gma - I hope she doesn't try to feign an illness (or insert whatever you think might be FF's MO) to be able to move in here! Better armed is better prepared.
Also, sorry to hear about your accident and I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you
Ive been feeling better ev ery morning, then afternoon hits and Im ready to curl up in bed with a sore skull.
Thats a great idea, I just texted him earlier and asked "has anyone asked to move in today?"
But I like your idea better. Put that whole fake an injury thing in his mind ahead of time.
So any idea where BM is
So any idea where BM is moving to? If memory serves me correctly, you were anticipating that she might end up on someone's couch and were hopeful that Munchkin could move in with you.
Definitely mention anything and everything you think she might use to influence DH, so that if she tries anything you can remind him that you've already had this conversation and agreed that these will be techniques to manipulate him.
I can't actually believe that he'd be willing to have this thief in his house again anyway. How long ago did Feral Forger cash those stolen cheques against a bank acoount in DH's name? Is it still a crime which could be reported? If so, there's your leverage to ensure she never sets foot through your door...
Yes
Toxic Troll, somehow has managed to secure an apartment - 1 bedroom. With a jaccuzzi and pools and gym. All without gainful employment other than trying to lock down some poor unsuspecting dudes with her girly parts.
Munchkin is really kind of excited, but she absolutely will not live with Feral Forger again. And has actually put her little foot down and told her mother that she wants to live with us full time and not with her if she includes her sister in the move.
It was a few months ago (Ill have to check my previous posts). I wish I could get DH to report it but everyone is protecting her.
I dont think he would. Just still anxious. He actually suggested his mothers house most recently (see most recent post), and Im upset that he actually went there.
Yes, that place exists. Where
Yes, that place exists. Where ever you and DH choose to inforce boundaries.
Keep her constrained with boundaries, let her realize she has no choice but to pick shit with the chickens and either thrive or fail by her own decisions and efforts. That occurs somewhere other than in your home.
Also, DH needs to grow some balls and quit serving up his mother as this toxic spawns victim.