Sounds like this girl is trying to be the Queen of all, with your SS and your DH too. Very inappropriate, and if I were in your place I would be very unhappy.

I think another sit down with your DH is in order, change the entry code and suggest a change in demeanor when you deal with this one. Change the demeanor ever so slightly toward her, not so nicey nice, not so pleasant, not so girlfriend-y. Be very direct and to the point, not warm and welcoming. Let her know that YOU are the one in charge of your own home, and her antics are not welcome. Sounds like she is good at games, I bet she will catch on. It she makes a smart comment, make one back... let her know you can't be bested.

DH also needs to not encourage the clingy behaviour. That would send me over the edge... Hands off!

You enjoyed the party until she started flashing her cellulite covered ass to all of YOUR guests. Tell her that next time. You were not wrong, she needs to be ostracized from the family from this point forward IMHO.

Next time take pics and video of her antics on your phone and post them to FB linking her to the pics. See how her law firm peers take to her extremely compromising antics.

Do not let any manipulation or under-the-breath snarky comment go unchallenged. Do as Overit recommends. If she gets lippy, you cut her off at the knees in front of anyone present.

"What was that? If you have something to say rather than make an under breath comment just say it so all can hear it. Why don't you have the courage and character to share your toxic comments?"

It sounds like she has a drinking problem - taking her clothes off at a housewarming party?? I would not invite her again to a party situation I would be offended too!!

I think you come off as the one with a problem. Why is it so necessary to mention again and again that she is FAT??? Who cares?!?!?!

What are you, Ms. America? If this lady is an attorney, and you are dating her boyfriends father, then you are at least 50+. My point is, you are not likely winning any prizes in the beauty division.

Why on earth is the behavior of your partners sons girlfriend getting you THIS riled up?

I think you are a busy body that needs to worry more about what YOU are doing and less about what SHE is doing. So what, she got drunk and embarrassed herself. That should bother her and her SO, NOT YOU.

Put an Ambien in her drink next time }:)

Hey oncechoosetosmile, I understand. Trust me, you are not alone. There is always going to be an unsupportive response. Human nature.

If you are going to stay with your SO, then you will have to simply limit her presence in your home. Is it really worth confronting her, not likely, because it's not going to change her. I would just not invite her to any more parties, and certainly change the code on your locks. If she protests, just calmly respond that given her past behaviour you are not good with her being around your friends.

She sounds like she has an alcohol problem. It's a difficult situation when the person has a high intelligence along with a personality disorder...and is insecure about their fugliness into the bargain. Your SO no doubt sees this, knows it cannot change, and would rather just not get involved. He probably thinks you are wasting your time trying to change things...and perhaps you are.

The larger issue for you is your SO's tolerance of the bad behaviour. I had an SO like thta..couldn't stop mentioning how attractive his DIL's arse was, and even talked about how he liked walking behind her. I found that just creepy, not from jealousy, just from the view that a fugly old fart would actually think it acceptable to verbalize his fantasies to other people! He had no dignity, and it's hard to feel respect for such men.

Next time she comes over have your camera ready. Get the wide angle out for the dress lifting and a lot of unflattering shots. Then make her copies when she is sober. Then she can see what she did and what she looks like when she is drunk and obnoxious.

Take a video clip of her twerking her fat behind. That oughtta cure her.

That behavior on the step-daughter to be is totally unacceptable. Certainly she has a drinking problem, but showing off her butt like that is, well, I have no words for it.

You are quite right to be disgusted with her. I mean it was YOUR party and there were guests, family as well as clients. I am certain you are embarrassed by her behavior, but take a step back and realize the behavior is hers, she embarrassed herself.

I can understand you being upset, and you have every right.

It would have been nice if your SO would have stepped in and stopped her from displaying herself, you know, taking her aside and start to try to get her to sober up.