Newcomer needs advice on how to handle adul SD
I've been a step mom to my husbands daughter for 13 years. She's always been all or nothing with and I've gone with the flow despite the pressure on my relationship with my husband, at his request, to keep the peace. This includes, over the years, her stealing then losing my dead grandmothers ring, playing me off against her mum, interfering in my relationship with husband. She has a child, after birth became hyper sensitive about her parenting. Lately she's been accusing me of saying she's a bad mom (which I've never ever said - the opposite is true) and that I've been twisting her sons words. He's 3, we've been so close because she works shifts and I've helped out with childcare 5 days a week. After U.K. lock down he struggled he told me, without any prompting he was sad as he'd had no buddies. (I should mention she began to isolate a month before everyone else.) naturally, told his mom I was concerned about he's coping because of what he's said. Since my life has been a living hell - I've been lied about, screamed at, sworn at, and today, banned from seeing her son, saying I'm too toxic and will screw his head up. Husband has tried to smooth things over, but I can't even bring myself to even try to sort things out. Apparently husband can go see grandson, I'm not allowed anywhere near. Heartbroken doesn't come into it as I'd never ever harm her child, and he's my little buddy. I honestly do not understand where this has come from - husband thinks it's her mothers influence, but my view is she's 24 and made a decision that will impact on her son, but one I've no choice but to respect. We've ended up arguing, and I've said enough is enough, I can't deal with this anymore. He's now in spare room. Not sure I can come back from this and husband tried to say she's stressed out but that doesn't excuse her lashing out at me??? Am I right to step away and leave her to it? Does anyone else have this type of tension impacting on their marriage, and if so, how do I get back on track with husband?