You are here

It keeps adding up

Shopaholic's picture

Submitted by Shopaholic on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 2:14pm

So the past few weeks have been pretty expensive. I do not want to be a heartless SM, even though I keep threatening DH that I am going to be, I am just so sick and tired of spending money on SS when BM will not pay child support. in the past few weeks DH and I have spent at least $250 on him this includes, special food that he will only eat for his lunch, clothes, and family activities. Don't get me wrong I love my SS, but you would think that BM would want to make sure her kid is taken care of, and I am really sick and tired of making up her part of everything, I think it is totally wrong that she still gets visitation when she does not pay child support, isn't there a law against that?

Comments

Rae's picture

Submitted by Rae on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 2:18pm

There isn't a law. You cannot withhold visitation due to lack of support, and you cannot withhold support due to lack of visitation. I've not seen it any other way, although perhaps some on the boards have. The courts in my experience look at it as two different and separate issues.

Imustbcrazy's picture

Submitted by Imustbcrazy on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 2:22pm

In fact it is the oposite... Child support and visitation are TWO COMPLETELY different subjects. No child should be kept from seeing a parent simply based on financial reasons. I tend to agree with this one. Some BP need to be kept in check when it comes to getting greedy. Before the custody and child support was in order BM used to try to keep SS from DH all of the time if he didn't pay HALF of her household bills. And how was he supposed to support himself? He paid half the day care and gave her money to help with SS expenses, even though we had him half the time... it was nothing that was court ordered, he just knew it was the right thing to do, but she went over board with it, VERY often. There has to be some sort of regulation on it.

You have the power to cut back on things for him if you find it to be to much. Why buy him "special food" just buy food, and he will have to eat what you buy, but back on activities. Most families have to make financial cut backs at one point or another.
Daddys Gurl

It's Better To Have Loved And Lost, Than To Have Spent The Rest Of My Life With THAT PSYCHO!!!!

Colorado Girl's picture

Submitted by Colorado Girl on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 2:34pm

or you'll fall into the same category that all of us SMs have such an issue with. You can't punish BM using SS. And by withholding SS from BM, wouldn't that make your "expenses" worse not better? Having him more would cost you more. And wouldn't that hurt SS in the long run?

I understand your frustration, financial support IS part of being a good parent but can't you go back to court if she is actually liable to pay?

Shopaholic's picture

Submitted by Shopaholic on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 2:45pm

yes, but then that takes time and money too... I guess the whole thing is like you said "frustrating", not to mention BM does have money, being supported by new husband, because her lazy butt does not want to get a job, but she just wants to spend it on SS when he is on visitation with her, she doesn't care to help out with his everyday necessities.