DH's SD17 is about to turn 18. Her mum's payments will stop as will SD's on that day. DH came to a financial arrangement that his ex had a weekly payment that started at $600/week and decreased on a sliding scale each year until 18 and that SD got $100 a week for five years now until she is 18. Both have given considerable trouble and there is always a money angle. I am worried what trouble is on the way as the fact that there this income stream is about to stop will not make either happy.

If all goes true to form SD and her mum will decide what will happen for her eighteenth for example and send us the bill. DH has raised it with SD a few times and made it clear that if she would like a nice party and wants us to contribute then she needs to discuss the plans with us. She went silent and I have no doubt will retreat to Mum's for reinforcement.

DH's dad is very sick and his sister has organised in house nursing and has organised for us to pay the bills. No one told us that we were expected to pay for everything and we just got the invoices for $380 per week. My DH was not consulted. His parents did not have a discussion with him in advance to say they needed the financial support. We just got sent the bills.

I have unfortunately been made redundant so I have stress about our cashflow and I feel bad for DH that he is taking up the burden. It is likely that DH's dad's expenses will increase and the sister appears to have no regard for whether we can afford that. In a recent email she wrote "I insisted the nurse add her voluntary home visit to the bill." She is a bossy type who seems to relish the role of "managing" the parents nurses. Poor nurses.

I feel better just writing all this down.

So sick of this role DH has been assigned as payer of invoices and the disrespect that he and I are shown in all of this business. I am also feeling worried about money. Noone would deny his very ill father good care and if we had been consulted we would have offered to help however at least that would have also allowed us to discuss other options with the family. There are 3 siblings.

Advice please?