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SD doesn’t want to see BM

meme49's picture

The asked my SD12 has came to live with us 2 months ago she wa staying 3–4 nights everywhere but her mum has menatak health problems drink and drug abuse.


SD mum didn’t bother trying to see SD and SD was upset so when she did see her Mum said she has tried to kill her self in January and last year to SD so my husband said SD can only see muk in a contact centre - Mum refused and didn’t contact SD at all for a month or my husband to see how her daughter was 

I pushed my husband to try and sort this out as SD I feel should get to have a relationship with her mum as mum said she getting help and also has had her dad move in as he has dementia so I thought if she’s looking after her dad she must be better.


so DH contacted SD mum and asked if she wanted to see SD - Mum was only if not in a contact centre as I can’t  afford  it.DH tuna asked SD when she’d lie to see her mum and SD has refused as she says he Mum has made no effort with her .  So it seems SD is trying to control her mum and I’m not comfortable a 12 year old child trying to control her mom - she wa all upset and wanting to see her 2 weeks ago now as mum won’t book a contact centre SD feels she will use herself as a control to show her mum she should change - she said as such 


to me it’s all stressful 

tog redux's picture

Does SD have a therapist? Sounds like she has a lot to sort out.  You are right that she shouldn't have total control over the situation, but I can see where she might feel like refusing to see her mother is the only control she does have.  And if BM has been ordered to only see her in a contact center, then that's what should happen, it was ordered for a reason.