Mess of emotions
I got divorced over 20 years ago. My ex finally got remarried last weekend. And I feel off, sad, I can't shake the feelings. I feel like I got divorced expecting to be at a better place now 20 years later. That didn't happen. My ex is very wealthy. I almost feel like his new wife is living the life I could have been living. Jealous? Of course. Did I love my ex? No. But in hindsight I think I coming from a family like mine made me avoid intimacy with everyone. My mother verbally abusive and put down central. My father totally disengaged.
So I'm in my 60's. It seems that before the pandemic I felt middle aged and now. I feel old as hell and frantic to make many more memories. Like traveling.