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Your Vote please.

Newimprvmodel's picture

I am well disengaged from SD. Have not seen in over 5 years and in 17 years have only seen her 5 times. Yup. You got that right. She and her sibling refused to have anything to do with my kids when they were younger and the step camps have no contact ever. 
here's the Vote. We are taking a trip which requires several flights one of which has 3 hour layover in SD city.  DH has already raised the issue that he intends to see his grandchild. Hmmm. That's assuming SD will come to the airport.  It's Inter National flight so really no time to leave airport yada yada. 
So.  I told him that I would NOT see SD with him. No way. I could meet him at the gate. Assuming he makes the flight. Lol. Of course he's demanding I stay with him and pretend. 
He's also assuming she will agree to meet him. 
how do you vote??

Yesterdays's picture

I wouldn't leave the airport on a 3 hour layover. For one thing you never know about the timing of the flights. What if yours lands a bit late, etc. I play it safe with flights. Also, it sounds stressful. It just doesn't seem like a good idea. Maybe he can do a solo trip another time to see them 

Thumper's picture


He is the one who is pretending. 

I'd tell him to meet me at the gate too. 

See ya, have fun.  Oh, and dh, IF you miss the flight, I am still going. OK? BYEEEEE have funnnnn


ESMOD's picture

A three hour layover may not end up being 3 hours... it's possible that a delay could cut that time and to see them he would have to leave the tsa secure area.. then go back through security.. it really sounds like it might be really tight and not that much quality time to spend anyway.  I am with you.. tell him.. you would rather just head to the next gate.. you will see him when he is done with the visit.

notarelative's picture

A three hour layover does not mean you have three hours free, even if your first plane lands on time. Time for second plane to load has to be considered. If they load and he is not there, they may think he is skipping the second part of the flight and cancel his ticket (including return flight). Then he has to factor going through security again. If the lines are long that could take up to an hour and no priority line on his ticket as he's not supposed to be out of the loading zone. 

DH's plan is not viable. 

CajunMom's picture

Don't break your boundaries. Your life is peaceful. Tell your DH you will meet him at the gate area of the next flight. And he better be on time because if he's not, you are getting on the plane without him. That's exactly what I'd tell mine. And he could "hang that lip" but it would not cause me to change my mind. 

Having flown international many times, I agree his plan is not viable. Even if she meets him at the airport, he has to go back thru Security and take the tram to the International terminal. He's really not thinking this through. But again....share the info about time constraints and if he chooses to go, it's on him.


MorningMia's picture

Some of these men . . . my God, if only their skids ever thought of doing the same for them. It so much seems like hope against hope, living in a fantasy. I'm going to risk a major vacation for you. Sigh. 

Rags's picture

Nope, if he leaves the controlled area of the airport to see his GSpawn for a few minutes and misses the flight, leave without him and let him figure out how to catch up, get his bags, etc....

A 3hr layover, even on a fully domestic trip, is inadequate to leave the secure side of the airport. On an international trip, nope. That is even less adequate to leave the secure area of the airport.

IMHO and experience of course.

Newimprvmodel's picture

If he misses the flight it will be really problematic because our plans are to immediately start our tour of the country. 
Maybe his D won't meet him. Anyway. I will try my best to convince him NOT to do it but I think if I do that he will be more likely to do it like an oppositional child. Ugh. 
I hate this step thing. Been doing it for a long time and sometimes it SUCKS. Compared to all you folks on here my step issues are small. Mercifully we rarely see them. 

Rags's picture

If he brain farts his way into missing the flight go without him. Start your tour as soon as you land. Without him.

He should know the itenerary and the plans, if he really gives a shit, he will catch up. If not, you have some choices to make.

Choose wisely and take care of you.

I have missed a single flight in the 56 years I have been traveling internationally.  I overslept and missed the flight taking me to my connecting flight to Germiany for a work project.  I worked with the airlines, they booked me with another another airlines on a flight leaving in less than an hour, and I met my team at the intermediate airport before we boarded for Germany.  It worked out, but... just barely.

I learned my lesson.

Winterglow's picture

My vote goes to letting him see her alone (because he probably won't be talked out of it - however I think it's a daft idea in the first place) - the chances are that she'd be more likely to turn up if she thought you wouldn't be there anyway.

Personally, once I'm i the international zone, I won't leave it; it's way too much hassle having to get back through security. I'm with the others that 3 hours between flights is nothing. If he misses the flight, the consequences for him could be dire. Here in Europe, if you miss a flight, the plane is delayed so that they can unload your luggage - they don't like doing that but they won't take the risk of carrying unaccompanied bags in case they have explosives inside. If you don't claim your luggage afterwards and within a set timeframe, there's a fair chance that your bags will be blown up. No shortcuts are taken when there's a risk of terrorism. And that's without considering the airlines that are hesitant to transport people who have already caused delays and hassle...

Harry's picture

Your DH has to leave the gate area. Before TAS checkpoint and then re TAS back in to gate area.  SD with out a airline ticket can not get by TAS  checkin.  Not worth the trouble, nothing in it for you.  I would be ticked off.  DH did not parent his DD to be respectful to you.  Why should you show respect to SD.  Your DH is a failed, what is he going to do to you.  His DD his problem. If he misses the flight it's on him 

Harry's picture

New plane starts boarding 20 to 30 minutes before takeoff time.  Down to two and 1/2 hours.  Walking to and by TAS Check in.  Depending on how big airport is. Some you can walk, some trains are involved.   Then time need to get re checked in by TAS. tine getting to gate.  So you will have a big hour maybe with SD.   DONT get involved.  You don't want to mess up your vacation for what to see someone who doesn't want to see you .

Winterglow's picture

Would it be possible to change his return ticket so that he can have a layover of a day or two without you (I'm sure you can find a reason why you absolutely cannot stay with him) on the way back?

Merry's picture

Sounds like a plan my DH would come up with. But he's not a comfortable traveler and could easily be talked out of it based on pretty normal "what if" scenarios.

If he insists on risking it, I'd make it clear that he's on his own and will have to figure out how to catch up to you.