SS might actually be showing up for Xmas
DH has court ordered Tuesday night facetime calls. SS15 hasn't answered since mid- October. We are going back for 3 contempt charges and this is just one more issue we filed about... Anyway, he actually answered last night! He really didn't talk but he did say that they were leaving for the airport at 3 am Saturday for his 6 am flight that we purchased. The last 2 flights we booked, he never got on. He is alienated beyond belief.
I am so all over the place with emotions... Happy he and his dad will be able to have actual time together for the 1st time in 18 months. Scared he isn't going to show again and DH will be crushed. Terrified that he is going to show up and be a GIGANTIC asshole. Disappointed that my "back up plan" for him not coming isn't going to happen now (I had a little romantic getaway planned for just him and I for after my kids go to their dad's for the 2nd half of winter break). -- Wow... when it actually get's written out, all of the drama and money and stress BM/SS15 have caused over the last 5 years that I have been in the picture (7 in total) has way more positives to him not coming than actually showing up...
DH still isn't' buying that he will get on the plane. He told me not to go Amazon crazy for Christmas until he is actually on board the flight. I promised I wouldn't and that I would probably go shopping while he was going to pick him up from the airport. I also said that while we spend $600ish on the other 3 kids and we weren't going to buy SS anything- you don't get rewarded for shitty behavior. I told DH I thought he should have a $2-300 budget and DH agreed and said less is more with his horrible behavior.
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Yeah, this is just the set up
Yeah, this is just the set up for BM's plan. She's making it look like he's coming and then he's going to refuse at the last minute. But then BM has plausible deniability that she encouraged him to go.
So then maybe we will get our
So then maybe we will get our trip! Whoo hoo!!
Plus, we save on presents.
I am not really seeing a downside from my end. Unfortunately, DH will ultimately be crushed which is why he is saying he is still highly doubtful that SS will show up.
Honestly, I might get him one
Honestly, I might get him one "decent" gift.. something that might be an "occupier" while he there (if he shows up). But then you could return it if he doesn't show!
I hope that call doesn't get
I hope that call doesn't get your DH's hopes up, because more likely than not it's part of the plan for SS to NOT come. It's perfectly consistent with their plan to go to the airport and then claim SS refused to get out of the car and get on the plane. Bad for your DH, good for your little vacation plan!
If SS shows, it's not going
If SS shows, it's not going to be by choice. Only way BM gets him on that plane is force and fear.
She's spent 18 months feeding hate into SS about the evil evil man. The kid literally ran from his father when they came face to face. And that major attitude he tossed at Dad during one of their latest begrudged phone calls you posted about. This is not a kid who is going to come bouncing happily off an airplane to warmly greet his father.
And if he does arrive, it's all BM doing what BM thinks is in HER best interest, cover her own ass.
I kinda find it unfair to all your other kids to allow the explosive fireworks of SS in at a time thats suppose to be full of fun.
But when BM wasn't around in
But when BM wasn't around in court, he gave DH a hug. I think he would be bouncing off the plane greeting DH happily. Saw it myself with my own SS after a year of alienation (minus the plane).
BUT, he's not going to come because he's enmeshed with BM and going along with what she wants.
That is very true. When BM
That is very true. When BM wasn't there he was open to talk and hug his dad...Who knows what version of the kid we will get if he shows up.
I agree with the others, BM
I agree with the others, BM is covering her bases so she doesn't have to pay anything. This way she can go into court bat her eyes and wipe away tears:
"your honor I tried, and when we got to the airport BS refused to get out of the car, I tried your honor...." breaks down in sobs.
Judge hands poor BM a tissue and asks her if she needs a moment? BM shakes her head no and bravely shoulders on.
Judge then admonishes DH for being such a heartless uncaring parent. End Scene!
Your friend even told you this was their plan.
ETA - 2-300 dollars on a kid who kicks your DH in the nuts all the time...wow you are way more generous than alot of people.
He certianly isn't getting
He certianly isn't getting what the others are so there will be sizeable distinguation there but at the same time, if we treat him the way BM has played us out to him, she wins. We have to find a balance of not rewarding him poor behavior and not making him feel like "his new family" is all DH cares about.
Which, not that it matters for SS (or any of the kids for that matter) to know this but DH has yet to buy a single present this year. Everything has been 100% funded by me. All my family, all DH's family, all the kids. Me. We don't have joint finances but DH has been gone so I have done it all. I am not buying SS a single thing. That will all be DH's credit card.
We were never long distance
(sadly) from the ferals but when they were doing visitation especially at sporting events/school activities with the Girhippo there, they had to act their best to be aloof to us and pretend not even to notice our presence until an acceptable amount of time had passed (20-30 minutes of arrival). They also acted very solemn and disgusted until at least an hour into the visitation when they knew they no longer had to "perform" for the Girhippo--being "safely' out of her sight.