How is this DH fault?
How is this DH fault? I just logged into facebook and I see a convo that my SD28 is having on her wall with her friends.. Spelling mistakes and all….
She is talking about sending her daughter to live with her father.
“I undastand that F1 (friend 1) but its diff up north these kids down here are super fast yea i fukd up n got pregnant young but thats cuz my dad wasnt there to keep me in line! N i am taking in consideration bout the school systems n up north has waaaay better schools! She may be a lil behind but at least they have classes that will help hee down here they just pass u thru! If she has trouble they will keep her bak n help her catch up! Im still debating on wat to do but i think ima give it a chance!”
How/Why is it his fault she got pregnant at 14? DH and BM2 were never together. She was with us on the weekends until she got gaga over a boy. BM2 allowed her to go to Bf’s house . (we lived in another state, but we still went and picked her up when she wanted to come over)
Sounds like she's saying that
Sounds like she's saying that wishes her dad could've been there more. That she knows now that her dad would have been a better parent, and that looking back she would have been better off with him... and not with her mother who let her run wild. I'd take it as a compliment to him really...
It's funny when I hear this
It's funny when I hear this BS or read about it online...the "teen got preggo because daddy wasn't there...blah, blah, blah"....excuse, me, yes...it's really NOT because daddy wasn't there, it is however because since daddy wasn't there, and mommy was a nut case, she allowed her teen daughter to sleep with her boyfriend at age 14 or for boyfriend to spend the night...So NOOOO, it is not dad's fault that she got preggo, it is her mom's fault as she allowed the behavior. Had dad been there, maybe he would've put a stop to it, but then again, there are MANY men who's wives think they know best and let their daughters do this and the men have 2 choices...either stop it and break up the marriage or let it happen...At the end of the day, it is the responsibility of the teen and of the parent that was there and ALLOWED the teen to run wild.
PS - sounds like something my DHs kid will say someday... lol
Sometimes its just the teens
Sometimes its just the teens fault, my daughter got pregnant at 15 and she had a stable environment, there is no way you can follow a teen around 24/7 sometimes the teen has to take the blame, all you can do is teach them right and hope they behave when they are out of your site. I really don't think the blame needs to be put on either parent. At 14 she knew she could get pregnant from sex
SD28 is DH’s 2nd child. He
SD28 is DH’s 2nd child. He didn’t know BM2 was prego (BM was 16) until she was 5 months along. When she told DH he didn’t believe her. When he was married to BM4 she wouldn’t allow him to see her (even after the DNA test). She was already upset that he had 2 other kids (she wouldn’t let him see) to add another drove her crazy. She didn’t want DH to see his 3 kids. I became her SM when she was 7. When we got together I knew about his 6 kids (4 diff BM’s). She was with us every weekend as were BM4’s 3 kids.
She came over for Christmas and we told the kids that we were expecting my DS. Little did we know so was she. DH’s insurance paid for all her medical, so everything was covered for her to have the baby. When she was 5 months along, her BM threw her out. We opened out door. She only lasted 3 months. She couldn’t live by DH’s rules. He expected her to finish HS (her child would have been with me while she was in school). She was always skipping and I caught her. Well one day when we were at work she packed all her stuff and went back to her mothers. DH wasn’t going to fight it and I thought it wasn’t my place to say anything.
Now SD is 28 and has 5 kids (same dad, who has 2 other kids between her 5 and his GF is preggo with twins). Such a sad situation… She never had the chance to grow up. Now it’s everyone else’s fault she can’t make it.
I wouldn't lose any sleep
I wouldn't lose any sleep over this. Our BM and SDs are just the same - blame someone else for your own failings. It doesn't exactly sound like she learned from her mistakes either, if she has 5 children by the age of 28. She sounds barely literate, so maybe she has had so many kids to give her a mission in life as she was never going to have a career.
And as Texstep said, it's more like a compliment - she acknowledges her dad may have kept her in line.