SD Baby Shower!
I know I don’t post here very often. But there something that is just bugging me. My SD23 is pregnant, due in a few months. I am not invited to the baby shower. When my other SD26 had her baby shower I was told about it by my SD 26 and SD SIL (I will call her F). Well a few weeks before the shower my F called me and said BM does not want you at the baby shower. I said “this is not her day it’s about SD”. I told F that I would respect SD and not go. It made SD happy that I would just not go so her BM couldn’t cause drama. I had to explain to my DD8 (6 at the time) that we couldn’t go. I just said we had something else planned that day. She was sad but I never mentioned it to her again.
Now SD23 said you’re not invited. It would make my mother to uncomfortable. I just said whatever. Now my DD8 is asking when her sister’s baby shower is and she can’t wait to go. How do I tell my DD that we are not invite?
Little background, been with DH 20 years, been in their lives the whole time. BM is the 3rd BM. She is psycho with PA tactics. There is so much that I could write a book. I think I am going to start a blog....
I never thought of it that
I never thought of it that way. You make a real good point. SD will be the one who has to tell her why we were not invited.
I agree with Foxie- tell her
I agree with Foxie- tell her the truth. When she gets older, maybe explain the situation to her in an age-appropriate manner.
If you have a decent relationship with SD, maybe you and BD could take her out to lunch and give her your gifts then.
I could be wrong but I think SD did this just to avoid having unnecessary drama on a day that should be about her. More than anything else, this sounds like a case of BM-can't-grow-up-and-be-an-adult.
Yeah, she can't grow up. She
Yeah, she can't grow up. She is BM4. She is talking to my SD28 (not her kid SD 28 if from BM2) and calling me all kinds of names, telling her that she is her real stepmother blah blah blah.. when in reality she told DH (when they were married)that he is to have nothing to do with his other kids :jawdrop: Its always drama with BM4
Dont' you just hate it when
Dont' you just hate it when the step kids use events like this ti start trouble.... Be glad you are NOT invited. Last babyshower I went to about a month ago my step kids invited both their mother (not a problem because she is their mother even if I don't care for her) but the icing on the cake was when they ALSO invited my DH ex-girlfriend as well. Uh hello, he broke up his relationship with this girl in the hopes of dating me...married 8 years now. This woman was not happy at that time and made a point at the baby shower to point it out to all present - how she forgave my DH and how he really meant nothing to her....after 8 years....sounds like she has been bitter for 8 years over nothing right??? Like I said be thankful you are not invited. I won't EVER go again to any of my step kids functions....tooooo much drama for me...
You would think that she
You would think that she would be over him by now… but we are in the 20th year. I get along with BM’s 1, 2 and 3. BM4 she is a whole other story that’s why she has earned the name PEW..lol I am not upset about not going it is my daughter, I know it is just a party and yeah there are sometimes when we are not going to be able to go (and she understands that). But come on it’s her sister. BM says she is over DH, really.. That’s why you talk about him and I to anyone who will listen.
If you are not invited, you
If you are not invited, you do not give a gift - that's how that works!
Be glad you don't have to suffer the b*tches - it will likely be a horrible time had by all anyway-!!!
I like telling DD you are not invited, then letting SD talk her way out of that one!! LOL!!
I just found out that the
I just found out that the shower is in the begining of Oct. Well when she brings it up to me again I am just going to tell her that we were not invited and that she will have to ask SD23 why were not invited. I will let you all know how that goes. I just feel bad for DD8, my DS13 tells me that DD8 keeps talking to him about it and tells him because he is a boy he can't go.
I understand why the daughter
I understand why the daughter doesn't want you to go. It's not to hurt you, and you shouldn't take it personally at all. She just wants her baby shower to be what she wants it to be. If birth mother is that big of a problem then it makes sense that your SD would want to avoid that drama. If you have a good relationship then talk to her and ask her if it would be okay to go do something with your DD in an effort to make the DD feel better, and to bond with your SD.
Be honest with your DD that you can't go, but tell her that you will do something special with her instead.
I wish I could have my own
I wish I could have my own shower, but then it would just be the 3 of us. Its a sad situation, my DS and DD love all of their siblings (I have 6 SK's by 4 BM's). I just wish BM4 would get over it. She will pick out something for the baby and we will give it to her when we see her. Now SD will have to explain it to DD and it just might click for SD.
I have a pregnant and
I have a pregnant and unmarried 22 yo SD. I don't want to be invited to any of the Baby Showers or be a part of this ridiculous way SD is leading her life! She has annialated her life in the past year with her loser bf who she thinks is a saint! My DH and I are disgusted beyond belief and to top it off someone from a Debt Mediation service called our home to find her. Of course I gave the guy her phone number, took his and told DH to let his dear SD know. And also let him know that if she has found herself pregnant AND in debt up to her eyeballs, the only baby things she is getting from us is a used crib and glider in the attic! Straighten out and we may choose to help!! I am in NO way an enabler!! I have a 15 year old DS and a 5 year old DS. The 15 y.o. just rolls his eyes at his half-sis's choices.... I am sure he wouldn't be upset it HE isn't a part of this...