His and Hers kids are completely different
My husband and I have been married 5 years. He has 2 kids SD 25 SS18. My daughter is 19 and son 16. His kids have never lived with us. My daughter did until this year when she moved out and son just moved in from his dads. My kids have never given us problems. They are respectful, hold jobs, oldest pays her own bills and works while going to college. We do not help her and she doesn’t ask. Her relationship with her “bonus dad” is beautiful and they love each other very much. Same with my son. He holds a pt job while in school and is very helpful around the house without asking. This is how they were raised. Their bio dad is a complete pos, but regardless of what I think of him I never let my kids be disrespectful to him. He has nailed his own coffin shut and currently both kids are not speaking with him. They are also in therapy so I’m not their dumping ground when it comes to him. Completely different scenario with my stepkids. From day 1 they have been nothing but a source of chaos, confusion and gnashing of teeth. They call crying and talking crap about their mom who they hate to their dad, always asking for money, we’ve been back and forth to court because ex wife is crazy, you can’t communicate like adults with anything of them because they turn it back on you. SD calls dad several times a day crying because she simply can’t figure life out. She’s also in the middle of getting her masters degree in psychology lol. SS is so disrespectful to his mom who he lives with but still calls complaining and calling her every name imaginable. My husband has tried to explain he’s not a dumpster but doesn’t stand firm with boundaries. We have also extended our hands to mostly his kids to help them in various ways, but if it’s not exactly what they want they refuse. This Christmas all kids came for dinner...first time ever. It was a fusterckuck at best. My kids were respectful and helped out...his kids loud, fighting and crying that I hated them. Well, they are almost right. I don’t like them. When I told my husband this he didn’t speak to me for 2 days. These kids use him as a landfill, we are in the process of working things out. Please tell me it’s ok not to like these kids. They are toxic and disrespectful. I definitely would not put up with this behavior from my own kids. But how do I deal with this going forward? I’m not about to allow their toxicity ruin my life.