I have looked at this site months ago realizing my frustration with my SS34. I finally packed up and moved out of the house yesterday. i told my wife i am tired of her treating here boys like kids and they are grown men (SS 19 & SS34). SS34 has a long resume and many excuses about how his bosses did not know what they were doing so he had to quit jobs over the years. i could go on endlessly about all the excuses for SS34 quitting jobs. He has many credits from various classes over the years but not even an associate degree in site. He even received a letter from the community college saying that he is at the limit for the number of classes he can take at the community college and cannot take anymore classes there. He has been unemployed since Sept 2011. He has his own house about 1/4 mile from my home. When he first quit his job back east, he moved back home even though he had his own house, he stayed on our couch for about 2 months. Never helped with bills or chores. comes by for showers when he has no propane. He cooks once in awhile at our house buut of course it is for himself and he never cleans up after himself. always has $$ for partying on the weekend but never helps with bills and never buys groceries. Once in awhile buys pizza and brings to our house but of course he get his share. he posted on FB once that he nailed an interview but no job resulted from this interview. When he walks through the door, he heads right for our fridge. I got tired of him sitting and watching Directv all day so I programmed it to be off during the day while we are at work. he had the nerve to call and ask for the passwords. SS34 has a BM and grandmother who believe every story he has for no job. Grandma loves to give hime money and feed him. So between grandmas kitchen and our kitchen he stays fed and just plays volleyball and softball and has an easy life. My wife (BM) has told me that she has had a counselor tell her during her first marriage that she was too close to SS34 (her BS). Even after knowing this, she continues to spoil him and let he come and go from our house as he pleases. He is a big boy and eats alot. i have no doubts my wife is slipping hime $$ to help with gas, cellphone bill, etc. and i know grandma helps do the same. i have tried to bring up the subject of tuff love and making him grow up but of course, as many of you hear, I am the bad guy. To further complicate things, I sincerely beleive SS34 is gay but trying to hide it and creating his own emotional distress by not coming out and continuing to hide his life style. i have no problem with hime being gay. I would prefer he find a good man and live a happy life. Bill collectors leave msgs everyday on our home phone for SS34. SS19 cant take care of his truck and gets to drive our 2006 vehicle to work everyday RT70 miles. We cannot afford a new car for a few years and we have a perfectly good used econonmy car he can drive that gets 40 mpg but he gets to drive the good car and put more miles on it while it is already at 160000 miles. Saturday nite, SS34 was drunk and almost instigated a physical fight between me and SS19. That was the last straw. My wife and i both work but her stepsons and the spoiling of them i think will kill our marriage as we struggle to pay bills. any commmets or advise? i really have a hard time beleiving my wife will change her ways. i suggested marriage counseling before i walked out the door. She said today she is going to get couseling for herself. i am trying to do the same.