Stepson not invited to a landmark birthday party - he is upset!
I have been disengaged from SS34 for well over 5 years now. It is absolutely blissful - no more drama!
Naturally, DH finds this very difficult. When he wants to see SS34 they meet up in a restaurant. Anyway, it is DH big birthday and I am arranging a surprise birthday party at a local venue. Somehow SS34 found out and sent me a text, expressing how disappointed him and his girlfriend are that they did not receive an invite. He felt that this may be the time to leave the past behind and celebrate his birthday. No mention of changing his behaviour!
SS34 has been dating his girlfriend for just over two years. During that time, she has fallen suit with her boyfriend. So now I have two toxic people! well, I rarely see them, but the last time I saw them, I walked past his girlfriend and said a sharp hello to him. You should have seen the look on their faces, they were visibly shocked. It is okay when they are rude to you, but when you turn the wheel, they cannot handle it. After all, the girlfriend made it clear that she wants nothing to do with me and I simply granted her wish.
I am sticking to my guns ..... they are not invited. I have invited the other siblings and they have been very helpful. I am organising and paying for the party and there is little room for negativity.
The issue is, my sister thinks that I should respond to his text and tell him why he is not invited. Then I have friends who has been urging me to invite him being that this is a landmark birthday.
Unless SS34 shows ME signs that he has a change of attitude and is willing to work on a healthy relationship with me, then I want nothing to do him. Until he has a change of behaviour I will stay disengaged, that means no invite to parties, Christmas dinner, or husband's birthday parties. Whilst he is out in the cold, I have a good relationship with the other two Skids. We all had an amazing Christmas dinner at the house and guess who was missing?
What do you think, do you think I am being too hard? I am very comfortable with my decision and although my DH would be upset, he knows that I tried to have a relationship with SS34 and the next step needs to come from SS34. I have suggested that he talks to someone, regarding the way forward. He needs to accept and learn how to live with the fact that SS34 and I may never have a relationship. SS34 not being invited to a landmark party is a startling dash of the reality of things to come.