Father's Day sigh!!
We went to a family reunion last Sunday and oldest SD started a fight with her Dad by telling her cousin that he shows his favoritism to her brothers by never inviting her and her sister to stuff at our house. The boys and their children came over to help us put our pool up 2 weeks ago. The boys and their kids swim in it a lot so that's whey they help us put it up and get it ready. SDs never come over to use it nor do they ever come over period, so why would we think to invite them??
This week I sent an email to all 4 kids inviting them over after church for a cookout and swim day for Father's Day. 2nd oldest SD sent message next day, sorry can't come celebrating my FIL's bday along with Father's Day that day. Oldest SD sent message next day saying we wont be there cuz its her baby daddy's first Father's Day. The SSs replied they would be there.
I knew the SDs wouldn't come (they never have come for Father's Day in the past) and I don't want them too, I just sent them the invite to shut them the hell up for awhile about the whole favoritism garbage. I've been hearing this favoritism garbage from the girls for 15+ years now. It is not true. We interact with the boys because they haven't called me names and/or tried to convince the rest of the family that I'm evil and the boys allow me to be Grandma to their offspring.
Anyway, I'm of course happy they won't be coming, sad that they disrespect their Father yet again, but especially love their excuses for not coming. One wants to be sure that I know that her FIL is more important to her than her Father (duh old news) and the other I guess I should have known that her baby's daddy couldn't possibly share the limelight with her own Father for the day, mercy NO!
DH's birthday is next month. Girls never come to his birthday celebrations but I will invite them yet again and we will see what excuse they come up with this year. All you can do is laugh because they ARE not worth crying over that is for sure!!
Walking this journey right
Walking this journey right now ~ and I hate it. I have one SD ( Veruca) ~ I tried to be a good Sm to her , but I watched her single handedly ~ try to mold me into what she wanted ~ they raised her as their friend not as a child. I doubt she ever got disciplined ~ her mother out her in the middle of their arguments ~ she was the go between.
I have pondered this ~ at the age of say 15ish on ~ kids begin their social lives ~ we as parents struggle with the thought of them not wanting us around bc it's more about friends. At this time was when my SD began her estrangement ~ he would text her she would ignore ( BM claimed he began the estrangement ~ giant spin doctor ) he bought tickets for a concert for her bday ~ she wanted to spent time w her bf not her father. If you try n try n try ~ when is enough. And the minute he crawls into his whole n accepts that he means nothing to her ~ she calls estrangement. Get over yourself with your fucking head games ......
She lied to other family members ~ saying he isn't trying ~ when do you wake up n realize you own kid is kicking you in the balls. She has switched everything for her own personal gain ~ she claims that as soon as I came in the picture he changed. BUT when I asked her if she felt slighted by her parents ~ she said yes by her mother but no in regards to her father. ( but you changed Daddy as soon as she came in the picture ~ please stop you make me want to puke ~ )
I wonder what will happen next Sunday with it being Fathers Day n all ~ will he be important enough to acknowledge ?? I'd love to know ~ my kids have like adopted him as their father figure ( since my husband passed 7 years ago ) ~ they could lose twice ~ let's see
You so nailed it Stepaside!!
You so nailed it Stepaside!! You are exactly right about the competition and snubbing etc. I stopped trying to "fix" the broken relationships a long time ago. I too was put through the ringer with these girls over the past 16 years, unfortunately we did not have children of our own to occupy my time with. I am actually thankful I did bring anymor children into the mess of DHs family. I have been blessed to be a Grandma to most all of the grandchildren and that has been a saving grace for me. I was thinking that perhaps the girls had moved forward in their thinking since they have been downright friendly to me the last few times I have been around them. But the reality is that they have not nor will they ever as you also pointed out. For the most part they are not in my life or my mind except for the holidays. It is a sad situation but obviously not uncommon because of the divorce. Sad only because it doesn't have to be this way but it is.
Every year for many years my
Every year for many years my DH sits here and waits for the skids to visit with him on Father's Day. It is sad. They never show and he may or may not receive a phone call. This year all of a sudden they are all asking him what he is doing for Father's Day. What in the world is that all about? Honestly I think they just want to have him sit home and wait. I have told him that this not making any plans in hopes that they show up is getting really old and I don't want to do it anymore. We are still waiting on our Christmas gifts. LOL