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DH is trying to get ss33 to work at his company

still learning's picture

This is the ss that has began and quit or been fired from several jobs lately. Recently he just got fired for calling his boss an idiot. He's started a new job stuffing boxes but DH is encouraging him to apply at his company since they are hiring right now and they pay double what minimum wage is in our state. I get that he wants ss to succeed but having him in the same workplace IMHO seems like a bad idea.  People are going to associate ss w/DH and probably expect more out of him because DH has been w/the company almost 30 years, he's top of his field and a hard worker.  ss would probably do what he always does which is work hard for a few weeks then get disillusioned with the whole schedule thing.  What happens when ss decides not to show up or he picks a fight w/his boss?  DH always thinks ss is at no fault so if his coworker has to disipline or fire ss how will that affect the work environment.  It's a big company but word gets around and I think it would reflect badly on DH.  

I really want to shake DH and let him know what a terrible idea this is but all I said when DH told me he sent him an application link was, "Oh".  Oh no is what I was thinking though.  If I say anything I'm the bad guy and *hate* ss which will cause a fight, yet I feel awful staying silent about something that could adversely affect DH's career.  This is like refering your loser cousin who just got out of jail to your place of employment knowing that he'll steal something and get fired. Hopefully ss is enjoying his box stuffing job and doesn't want to go through the effort of applying somewhere else again!  

Dovina's picture

Its been a nightmare for my DH having skid in the same workplace. Although he is reluctant to admit, this situation has ruined his good name because of the behavior of skid at the workplace.

I hope you can talk sense into your DH to discourage SS from applying.


still learning's picture

This is what I can see happening w/ss33.  Apparently he's burned bridges at every workplace and is not welcome back.  I'm sure DH thinks it will be different this time...  Thankfully not my monkey but DH really enjoys his job and I hate to see that tainted by ss33 drama.  

ndc's picture

Too bad they don't have an anti-nepotism policy.  That would protect your husband from himself.

still learning's picture

Yes it would.  He sent the link to both ss's, ss33 had not applied or responded but ss30 did.  ss30 has a slightly better work ethic and has a decent job, DH said he's open to leaving his current job because he got a new boss and ss is realizing it's not all *fun and games* now, ss's words.  Well ss, 12 hr shifts of assembly work isn't going to be all fun and games either!  Not sure if job hopping with the idea of finding something funner and better when you have a family is the best idea. Yes it pays a few dollars more but if you're in a stable place w/good benefits should you really risk all of that? 

sandye21's picture

As much as it hurts to sit by and watch DH screw up maybe this is your answer in disguise.  If DH has been with the company for 30 yeasr and has a good reputation, it is doubtful they would penalize your DH for his son's actions.  But it just might the right thing to open DH's eyes to what SS really is.  Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Survivingstephell's picture

I agree, this might be the right type of wake up call, finding out that SS is unemployable because he failed as a parent to instill the American work ethic in him.  Nothing like shame to make an impression.  

Dovina's picture

and I was hoping at the very least DH eyes would be opened. They may well be, but the damage caused and turmoil really doesnt seem to make anything better regarding accountability of the skid. Its just one more avenue of frustration watching the shi* show extend from within the family to the workplace. My DH trying to sweep the mess up behind the skid now in the work environment just adds to the frustration.  Yeah I know I have a DH problem, but just sharing a note of caution from my experience.

Hoping this doesnt turn out the same for OP's DH.

SugarSpice's picture

sometimes you just have to step back and watch the chaos take its toll.  i am doing this with one skid.  each week she digs her self into a deeper hole that dadddeeeee gets her out of.

still learning's picture

It would be nice if DH would open his eyes and realize that he needs to stop making excuses and paving the way for his son.  DH plans to put in a good word for both ss's and talk to the super in charge of the area that's hiring.  Neither ss's has experience in this line of work and ss33 expecially wouldn't live up to DH's recommendation.  Thanks for the crossed fingers, let's hope both ss's stay in their corner and don't pollute DH's place of employment.  

disrestep's picture

Well, if you feel bad not saying something to DH, the. say something to him. Say it nicely and make it all about the future of SH's career in that you are just concerned if adult skid screws up did your SH ever think how that may make him look at work? What if adult skid asks DH to cover for him where he works? Does he want to risk his job for that loser?

best of luck.

SugarSpice's picture

sd has been given an offer to work out of state in her aunts company.  its a catering company and the sd cant cook to save herself.  i wonder what kind of farce ending this will have.  i just hope sd does not choose to move back to where we live.

another sd who was a manager at her firm asked the supervisor to hire her sister.  bad move.  the sister had poor work ethic.  she worked two weeks and then showed up one day and quit.  egg on the sisters face.



still learning's picture

That's what I'm thinking will happen w/ss's, they'll work hard for a few weeks then realize it's not fun and quit. All the praise, builiding up and recommendations from DH will look like a lot of hot air.  

Rags's picture

Referring people for employment at one's own place of work can be a double edged sword.  Particularly when referring family.

The success or failure of the referred individual can have a notable effect on the reputation of the person doing the referring. 

My father would never refer anyone he did not have absolute trust in ... including  his sons.  Luckily I have delivered results when I joined the company dad was with.  I had the blessing of working with my dad for the last 6 years of his career.  Neither of us would trade that for the world.

thinkthrice's picture

Definitely would reflect badly on DH... which could go two ways:

1.  Enable him further by having other workers pick up the slack thus causing more resentment

2.  Possibly having his eyes opened to what a POS his son is.

Currently my boss got rid of a hard-working lady just because she was an older woman and shipped her off to a different department...then promoted a co-worker who has massive headlights but we are finding out she has neither a work ethic nor an interest in the work nor any skillsets and is now having other people including myself do her work for her.  Extremely frustrating.

Bonus:  she happens to be a helicopter mom and has GUBM tendencies.  Pardon my hijack


still learning's picture

"nor any skillsets..." 

Oh I'm sure she has skillsets, just not the ones needed for the job at hand ;)  

Merry's picture

SS got a job at DH's company. A few months in SS lied on his timesheet, so they fired him. DH was SHOCKED little precious got fired--bbbuuuut he NEEEDS a second chance. Nope, buddy, somebody lies and steals, no second chances.

It wasn't too long after that that things started going badly for DH, and the company eventually let him go. Were the two things related? Not directly. But I can't help but think it was the beginning of the end.

still learning's picture

Yikes! At DH's work they sign in online and can adjust their timecard if need be.  I could totally see something like this happening with ss33 and DH defending him or saying it was some kind of misunderstanding.  I hope a hiring freeze is coming up fast and all positions are filled.