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Am I over-reacting?

Disillusioned's picture

Submitted by Disillusioned on Mon, 05/26/2014 - 1:43pm

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Adult Stepchildren

So this weekend DH receives a phone call from BM's SO telling him that they will be meeting up with us at SGS's event, as they have some packages they want us to take with us when we visit YSD

YSD had mentioned to DH she was going to call BM and ask her to meet up with us, and DH assured her she didn't need to do that, that we would absolutely pick up the parcels and bring them to her, but YSD obviously went ahead and did it anyway

Now there are no problems with any of the parents/step-parents getting together. All four of us have worked at being civil and friendly to each other whenever we're at the same family events, and DH's daughter's have never had to feel they couldn't talk about BM around me etc.. etc...but still, I'm thinking at 28 years old YSD must be old enough to figure out that arrangement only makes everyone uncomfortable - especially when there was no need for it at all, DH had specifically asked her not to do that

Like other little things with her lately, I felt that was inconsiderate...but then maybe I'm over-reacting?

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Mon, 05/26/2014 - 7:00pm

Sounds like she didn't trust your DH to follow through and she wanted reassurance. Has DH let her down in the past by not doing what he said he would?

I don't think it's a big deal.

whatamess's picture

Submitted by whatamess on Tue, 05/27/2014 - 6:58am

I'd let it go, but I would mark it down for "reference" in the future to see if a pattern is developing.

AllySkoo's picture

Submitted by AllySkoo on Tue, 05/27/2014 - 9:06am

I'd let it go too at this point. If the behavior keeps up then you can address it, but from other posts about this is sort of sounds like YSD is just very, very anxious to get these packages for some reason. Also, if you've made it a point to keep everything civil between the adults (good for you!!) then it honestly might NOT have occurred to her that anything might be uncomfortable. She's never been in your shoes, so she might legitimately have no idea how hard it can be. (Just for example, my mom was a SAHM and it literally NEVER occurred to me how tough that might be until I became a mother myself. She sort of made it look easy, which I can see now took effort. In my 20's though? It simply just wouldn't have occurred to me at all.)

Disillusioned's picture

Submitted by Disillusioned on Tue, 05/27/2014 - 10:45am

I don't know 20years....DH doesn't make it a habit to say to his daughters that he'll do something and then not follow through. Even when YSD first suggested it to DH he told her no, not necessary, don't do that, etc... etc...

But I hope you're right and it's not a big deal Smile

Disillusioned's picture

Submitted by Disillusioned on Tue, 05/27/2014 - 10:46am

Great feedback from all, thanks! Definitely feeling better about it now...this is why I ask Smile