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Sometimes the best reaction is none

Disillusioned's picture

DH and I go to little SGS's event yesterday. As usual, when we arrive and politely say hello to everyone, DH's daughter and sister ignore us.

DH began talking to little SGS who just sat there not responding at all. DH continued to talk with SGS until finally DH's daughter asks SGS if he said hello to Grandpa DH, and then after a pause, and Grandma Disillusioned. When we go to the area to watch SGS, DH's sister who so far has not acknowledged either DH or I, rushes up to stand beside DH's daughter and then they proceed to carry on, laughing, talking really loudly, and completely excluding DH and I although we are standing right beside them

This goes on for a good 20 minutes straight, DH asking his daughter the occasional question about SGS and receiving short answers from her and then back to carrying on with DH's sister and ignoring us

DH and I paid no attention to them, cheered SGS on. We commented to each how great SGS was doing and improving weekly at this activity. At one point DH's sister asked me a question about the event, I politely responded, she then went back to ignoring DH and I and carrying on with DH's daughter. Then we said good-bye to them and left

DH commented later that although they were actually a little better than usual today, how pathetic his sister and daughter's behavior is. And that it wasn't just directed at me this time, but him as well. I commented to DH that maybe one day even they will realize how obvious they are in their total immature rudeness. DH said he hoped so. He commented that I had handled myself well, and thanked me for being there Smile I told DH it was a bright beautiful sunny day, I was looking forward to seeing little SGS perform at his event, and that I'd already had my head around the type of behavior I would be putting up from his sister and daughter ahead of time, so nothing was going to spoil my mood

DH told me it makes him sad that I need to 'get my head around his family's behavior' before any events we see them at.

But it's not a hard as DH thinks. Not any more. It used to make me so uncomfortable and embarrassed when we would be at one of DH's family's events and his daughter and sister would exclude me. I would politely try to join the discussion only to feel more stupid when they continued to exclude. Other times I would be ticked off, angry, it would bug me. But not any more. I know for whatever reasons this is how they are, and the less I react the better.

I think the fact that DH and I went there, were polite, didn't get caught up in the nonsense, were focused on SGS and really only commented on him and cheered him on, then politely left....I think DH's sister especially, a woman in her 50's carrying on like someone in high school - I thinking that is why she finally said something to me. Even she must stop and realize how obvious she is, how totally immature.

Although it was not our intention to show her up, I think by our own classy, mature behavior in comparison to the scene from her and DH's daughter, even she must feel a little stupid and realize we rose above this nonsense and behaved like mature adults taking the high road rather than immature school children who haven't yet learned how to behave decently to others