Adult SS breaking the law again...
So I just found out that at the age of 20 my SS started sexual relations with a 15yr old girl. I'm livid. His bio: drop out of school, drugs in house, stealing, loss of driver's license due to unpaid fines (almost 8K), tattoos, and father is out of the picture due to drug dependency and then lack of child support. SS no longer lives with us, however whenever I travel for work, monthes at a time, he moves back. He does finally have a fulltime job that he got through his uncle, but at 21.
The issue, I wrote a letter to the authorites, but never mailed it. His mother found it and feels betrayed. I would have loved to talk about it with her, but alas, she is happy he finally has full time employment and paying his own rent. I still hold onto the past, because it still happens.
She claims that it shouldn't bother me because he doesn't live with us. I'm tired of it always being something....what are your thoughts.
Her other two kids are adults and fine, normal things, job loss, etc. Normal life
I personally, would tell the
I personally, would tell the girls parents. Maybe they know, and are ok with it... and if that's the case, you have done all you can.
If he doesn't live with you
If he doesn't live with you it doesn't really matter what he does. Do not let him into your head. Do not engage in conversations about him - forget he exists! Good luck.
My main thought is that you
My main thought is that you can never allow this girl into your home. Not for one second. That could land you in a legal mess.
My DH's older son is 20. No job, barely graduated high school, no driver's license. REFUSES to work. He lives with his mother. He has been dating a minor for 18 months. Her parents allow them to sleep together-he lived with them for several months. He got her pregnant, she miscarried. Yet, they are still permitted to sleep together in her parent's home.
None of this affects me and my DH because his son is not allowed here (for many reasons), and this girl is not allowed in our home. I told my DH that he can never put her in his car. You have to be so careful, not only legally, because it is wrong. We are not condoning this. My DH's son wanted us to take her to dinner, out to places, etc. NO WAY.
You need to tell your wife that she cannot ever let that girl in your home, your car, etc. DO NOT let your stepson's bad decisions affect you!
Btw, my DH's son feels it is perfectly ok to date a minor-the law apparently does not apply to him.
Legally you may be required
Legally you may be required to report it although you probably have no proof - just somebody's say-so. The laws vary from state to state about reporting such a crime.
If this guy is found out he'll be labeled a sex offender for life plus substantial penitentiary time where sex offenders are routinely murdered by other inmates. I'd have trouble being a part of that when its a older teenager. My advise is leave it alone or at most try to let the girls mother know. She may think he's 18 or 19 and have no idea about his past record.
He sounds like a typical kids
He sounds like a typical kids raised in the 90s... Most of us well meaning parents raised our kids to be a bit spoiled and lazy. If the young man was on drugs for any period of time - he is growth development challenged. Take the years he did drugs and subtract them from his age. That will give you his real maturity. He is prob operating on the level of a 17/18 year old and therefore dating a younger girl doesn't seem odd to him. To begin with, he is not your son and anything you do to tattle on him will seem vindictive by his mother. You are very angry at his lifestyle and therefore things you do are retalitory and not done from a place of love. Your relationship with this kid would get better actually if you were to disconnect from him. Have as little to do with him as possible. Ask your wife to not complain and share his issues with you. Some down time from this kids drama would help you immensely....