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Adult SD(27) still lives at home clueless about our privacy

Shannon61's picture

My adult SD (27) lives at home w/us and is getting married next year. We've had our issues, but we're at a better place now. She still annoys me to no end, but just knowing she's leaving soon makes it somewhat tolerable. Last night she came home and DH and I were relaxing on the couch watching a movie. First she made small talk w/DH and went to her room. Shortly thereafter, she came back out, turned the lights up high, proceeded to dig in her purse (she couldn't do this in her room) and told us "I'll be back." I'm thinking "who gives a S" but of course I couldn't say that.

At this point DH and I realized if we were going to have any privacy we needed to retreat to the bedroom, and close the door. And we did just that. DH and I also talked and he admited SD should have been gone a long time ago (she'll turn 28 in a few months). We felt we had to hide out from her to get some much needed privacy.

I'm sure when SD returned (a few hours later) she didn't expect both of us to be missing in action. I hope she got the hint. When you're an adult, you're not supposed to continue to cling to daddy like a 10 year old. It's time to create your own life/friends/interests, grow up and prepare to move on. That's what adults do. How sad is it that we have to retreat to the bedroom to get away from her because she's too selfish and inconsiderate to think we need privacy? I also feel she thinks its "ok" to still live at home a damn near 30. DH has enabled her to the point of being pathetic. Moving day is not coming quick enough for me.

Sweetnothings's picture

My SD used to do this a lot, when DH and I were watching a movie, suddenly had to make a lot of trips to the Kitchen, or would hover around.... Not interested in the movie, just that I had Daddy. Usually you would have to prise her out of her room!! Sleeping all day, P.C all night, if she could !! We were living on top of everything, shops, library, lots of coffee and fast food places, and I think she actually went out twice on her own in about a year!!! DH was the taxi, of course !!!
Looking back I really did believe I was doing the best thing letting her live with us and offering her all this support....it was seriously lacking from the BM.....now I know I was such a fool !!

Have you made up one of those count down thingys on the PC ??? Leading up to her big day !!!

Shannon61's picture

I agree entirely. SD hasn't set a wedding date as of yet. First she said April, then May and the other day she told DH June . .of 2012. Set the damn date already. A few weeks ago she told DH NOT to ask her about the wedding plans. Can you believe that? She lives in his house and had the nerve to tell DH that. I slammed him good for allowing her to speak to him with such disrespect.

Why isn't she excited about getting married and moving on? I feel like she wants to stay here w/daddy as long as she can, and I may be forced to leave because he'll never ask her to leave. The girl clearly has detachment issues. It's not normal. I'm going to start the "we're planning on making your room an office" routine to light a fire under her. It's ridiculous that I have to do this.

Also, I've also noticed she has a million things to say to DH when we're on the couch together. But when DH is alone and I'm in the bedroom, she doesn't have much interaction w/him. I think she's doing it to annoy me.

Doesn't she know she's dooming her own marriage? I wonder if she thinks she's going to have unicorns and rainbows in her marriage after causing so much conflict in ours. Could she be that stupid?

herewegoagain's picture

Wth? Even my 9yr old awesome autistic son knows "mom and dad have private time and you stay in your room unless it's an emgcy"...pathetic loser skids

Shannon61's picture

Touche! When I moved in my greatest fear that SD would try to ride it out as long as possible and she's doing just that. She should have been gone long ago.

Now I think she's dragging her feet to spite me . .but in the end she's only hurting herself.

Pathetic loser skids sums it up nicely.

oneoffour's picture

I would leave the door open and make out with your DH at every opportunity. If you catch her standing there say "Oh, didn't see you. I thought you had gone out. Excuse us!" And shut the door.

I wpuld be careful about forcing her into living wiht her BF. Does she want to do that? Not everyone does.

Treat her like a room mate. Tell her "When you marry *insert fiance's name* we will turn your room into an office. I am thinking making it tan."

Shannon61's picture

I'm at the end of my rope and today I've started dropping hints. I asked if they set the date and she gave me 2 dates they are considering. The good news is that they made a decision on the hall . . yipee! It's just a matter of time now before I start the count down. Heck I may take a cruise or something to celebrate.

Next week I'm going to ask her if I can measure her room for the painters, curtains, etc. I'm slowly going to nudge her out. This is ridiculous.

She acts like she's SUPPOSED to be still living at home, like it's a normal thing to do at her age. When she walks down the aisle, she'll be a few months shy of her 29th birthday. :jawdrop: