Need Help !!

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I hope I'm posting this in the correct area. I've been with to my DH for 3 years now. I keep thinking / hoping things are eventually going to get better, but they actually keep getting worse.

My DH exwife started from the first day I met their son. She completely flipped. It was an innocent first meeting. At the park, we swang on the swings / played in the playground. DH and I did not kiss or hold hands or anything of the sort. Yet she called while we were at dinner that night screaming through the phone. Calling me every name she could think of (without knowing me or anything other than my first name) then with held visitation for over 2 weeks.

When DH and I were married, she called DH and told him if he married me that he would never see his son again. We were married out of town and the day after we returned, a sherriff showed up at our house and served a temp restraining order. He was unable to call / txt / contact his son in anyway until the court date. Which just so happened to be through his sons birthday. Turned 7 at the time. How sad for both father and son. Court finally arrived and was thrown out. She had tried to say DH attacked her in a parking lot .....yes the weekend we were out of town for our wedding. The judge lectured her on false allegations and threw it out of court.

Three days later DH is served with a summons to appear. Come to find out ...immediately ...and yes I mean immediately (same day) that the judge threw the case out. She went to the sherriffs office and filed a criminal charge stating that my husband kicked in her car. One of the same charges she filed with the restraining order. Obviously this was thrown out as well. However, cost him countless "docket sounding" court dates and money for the prior court transcripts....was suprised how expensive those are. Etc. Again, she received a stern talking to for false filings (big deal)

Things have only gotten worse since then and that was a year ago. She calls constantly / repeatedly to discuss their failed marriage. When she doesn't hear what she wants .....she then resorts to threats / vicious words / yelling / screaming ....and yes all of this in from the SS.

At least I was removed from the situation for a bit .....of course everytime she called she called me names. Attacked my character / told lies, etc. The usual crazy woman behavior. She even resorted to following me, "researching me", calling my work, then having me followed by other. Mind you ....I had never met nor spoke to this women.

The entire time she's telling her son how Daddy isn't with them because of me. That he's not allowed near me ....shouldn't be alone with me. She has called DCF to my house 3 times ....each time stupid ...yet terrible lies .....each time her own son has been interviewed and thankfully told the truth. However, it always worries me when she will have him convinced to lie.

The latest .......she resorted to texting me. Basically just degrading my marriage, me in general as a person. As if she knows me or has ever met me. She is 13 years older than me ......10 years older than my husband.

She has filled poor SS head with such junk and garbage that I wonder if things will ever be fixed. She went so far as to move his school very far away ...even for her ...yet she doesn't work so it isn't an issue with her.

We have SS every Wednesday and we pick him up directly from school. DH told the school their may be times he can not get to school on time and that he may have to have me get SS (I happen to work directly by the school she put him in). EX FLIPPED to say the least. She sent me the worst / scariest texts. Threatening. Demanding.
She told SS that he was never allowed to leave school with me or get in a car with me etc.

Today is Wednesday........she scared his so bad this morning. Reminding him, threatening him that in no uncertain terms is he allowed to leave with me. So bad that he was so upset and stessed he couldn't stop crying and the principle sent him home from school. She had no idea if I'd be picking SS up or not. As a matter of fact, DH was off today. Yet she'd rather scare SS so bad that he makes himself sick with worry? What kind of mother does that?

I've ignored this every step of the way. However, it's getting more difficult and her games / tatics / craziness are getting worse.

From what I read here...........there is nothing to be done about it?

Save and document! I have

Save and document! I have dealt with the same things from the BM and I am currently waiting for our court hearing for harrassment. I had sent her a certified letter stating to not contact me or my children and that included texting third parties such as my BF calling me and my children names. She even physically threatened me as well. I took screen shots of all text messages, have the copy of the certified letter SHE signed for and went into the police station every single time she came out of her mouth in a degrading way. They would always say, next time, next time. FINALLY the officer said there would be no reason she will not get a misdemeanor for all the threats and name calling especially when she signed for the letter acknowledging it. So please don't feel like you can't do anything - this is my 3rd year of dealing with this crazy! I have had CIY at our door as well, she followed a co-worker of mine home thinking it was me, she has harrassed my 13 year old son - the list is endless. Hang in there!

I think you have more than

I think you have more than enough to file charges against her and have her stopped from phoning, texting, harrassing you. This would at least be a start in fighting back. Sitting around waiting for it to get better won't work. If she finds a fella and her world is rosie, you and ss may get a break, but everytime she has a bump in the road of romance, she will revert back to this, because this is her.

You I am afraid are going to have to take legal action against her. Start costing her money in legal fees, and if you obtain a restraining order against her, well it would have to look good on your part if your husband decided to then go for custody based on the fact that his son is being emotionally damaged by his mother.

I'd keep the school fully updated on this whole situation.

Me too. Same exact BM. years

Me too. Same exact BM. years later and still going..........DCS was just here a month ago. Lies. All lies. We asked the case worker if there is anything we can do or they can do to her for filing false claims and she said no because it was annonymous. I showed her the text from bm two days before saying she was calling and sending them. But still no go. I wish my SO would say to her and the skids what someone elses DH did I read on her earlier. Which was along the lines of *keep the kids bm and kids stay at your moms and when you are older I will tell they/you EVERYthing. Oh and OP, it wont change when she finds a fella it'll change but not stop.

I was taking a phlebotomy

I was taking a phlebotomy class at a community college about 20 miles from home and skids told BM I was going to school. She started stalking me there and then one night class got out about 15 minutes late because we were all trying to draw blood from the fake arm. A couple of us girls sat around talking for a few more minutes trying to hit the vein and so that left three of us leaving, two going one way, me going the other. As soon as I pulled off the school road a vehicle turned its lights on a raced up behind me. The vehicle was about to hit me, I literally could not see their headlights in my rear view mirror. Then I realized that they were actually trying to hit me because I was going 20 miles over the speed limit and could not shake them. I was trying to call the police when I got to a red light next to Wal-Mart and a gas station so it was very bright. It was the dumb bitch and at least two men. I think they were trying to hit me so that her inmates could jump me. I reported it to the police. Know what they said? Can't do anything about it because she did not verbally threaten to, or physically harm you. You have got to be kidding me. So until I have a text message saying that she is going to kill me (though she is not the brightest crayon in the box, she is not dumb enough to do that) or she actually tries. I can do nothing about her psychotic ass. What is cool, however, is that she is stupid enough that she doesn't know that so when she starts her shit, all I have to do is threaten to call the police (who know her very well) and she quits! HAHA

"Heaven has no rage like love

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.".

(1697) by William Congreve (1670-1729)

Some women seem to think that their ex's should spend the rest of their lives pining over their lost love. Themselves. When that's proven untrue they literally become unhinged.

Is it safe to assume that you're considering leaving this situation sometime soon? To think of living like this for the next 10 years boggles the imagination. No boyfriend is worth it. And of course they never go away, the kid and his mother will be a part of your boyfriends life forever.

You didn't mention any kids of your own. Why not find a guy who also has no kids and create a family without all the crap that's going to be slung? I know you have to 'throw away' the time you've invested so far but adding more to it isn't the answer. Millions of childless guys are out there.

He isn't my

He isn't my Boyfriend........he's my husband. We aren't children ....I am 41 and he is 42. I have a 20 year old son from a previous marriage and SS obviously is from his previous marriage.

I love my DH dearly......but am I considering walking over this? Yes. Of course. This is way more than I bargained for. Being constantly harrassed, name drug through the mud repeatedly. DCF showing up and regular intervals. My work being called. And who I feel the worse for is SS.

I feel terrible for that little boy. He isn't ALLOWED to like me. He does like me .....but you can see the guilt he feels over it since him mom drills him everytime he leaves her house to make sure he didn't spend time with me. To make sure he knows to hate me, etc. Its something out of a Lifetime Network movie ....it's unheard of.

I want to move. Yet I would never ask DH to leave his son. So yes, I think I'm at my witts end here.

To who said DCF wouldn't do anything about false allegations. It must be different here. While they never tell US who is calling them. We know .....and the last time they showed up ......once again false lies. The case worker told us she was recommending charges be brought against the "person" for repeated filing of false allegations.

I wish it was this way here

I wish it was this way here with DCS! But the caseworker says nope, cuz thats the reason its annonymous. People wont call if they think they can get in trouble and bla bla bla. WE have had DCS called 3 times. Humane Society 1 time. Health Dept 2 times. Cops too many to count. I think when ever ANYone calls these agencys, they should immediately investigate with surprise visits the caller. Ever hear of projecting? ? ? Then they could go investigate the offender after still, but I would bet money that over half the time the annonymous caller is 10 times worse than the person they are calling about.

Check and see if your state

Check and see if your state has harassment protection orders. Call your local court (it's usually district court but some states give co-jurisdiction to county court) and find out. If they do file one that prevents her from contacting you, your job, or any of your family members, that's step one.

Second, if she continues to contact DCFS and you have text messages prior, call the police and see if you can file a false reporting charge against her. If not, call your local county attorney's office (or hers if not the same county) and talk to one of the deputies to see what can be done.

Third, keep documentation and consult with an attorney. See if there is anything that can be done to modify the current CO to prevent her from talking about the case or you to her child. Then, after the order is modified, if she continues to do so ask for a contempt order.

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